šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2017-10-27 02:06:03 (UTC)

Amanda22Jane....EDITED....

There is a reason for the *22* in Amanda22Jane. It was the age I was when I gave birth to my precious little poppet of a daughter...my only surviving child....my precious 32-year-old daughter who is the adult equivalent of having TEN kids!!! (Well it feels that way at times, believe you me...loving sigh........).


She has blessed me with three beautiful grandchildren. My daughter is a miracle. I lost a few babies to miscarriage before her and one after her.


My beautiful daughter...and she drives me nuts (not to mention distraction). I can drive her so very nuts too, not to mention raising her rage and anger.
We have, through the pain, anger and heartache of life, found peaceful and common ground. Her intelligent insightfulness astounds me. She can also read me like a book, which I both admire and find a little scary.


I am sorry for how I have hurt you as a child daughter and in your intermediate years, and I live with the pain of those life actions and gross misdemeanors to this day, and l have added strength and healing to the ongoing equation in order find a kind of resolution to your pain and my own. Forgiving myself for my damaging misconduct towards you daughter beloved, has never been an option until lately. I deserved to suffer long because of the hurt I inflicted on you in my alcohol and drug using years and the physical, emotional and psychological abuse that I inflicted on you. Though forgiving myself has only just become a new - yet tiny - option, I am willing to press forward now and gather our joyful and happy past memories into some form of containment now. This is not me giving myself a public flogging...nor whipping myself into pieces, but instead a means to declare my unconditional love for you both as a mother and through our Lord Jesus the Christ eternal....God bless you daughter and your little family..........YOU...are a mother now and YOU deserve your children...I didn't.

So grateful.....Ever grateful........Gratitude.
Love, light and blessings to you daughter. Love you...mum..... A-J.




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