Screened In Porch

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2017-06-04 15:54:01 (UTC)

Sunday morning...

I find it hard to believe that a man who produces music in this area would once again ask for help through a go fund me page because of facing bankruptcy and needs dental implants. He says he needs around 20k for all that. I hope he gets it. Once before he asked for 1700 dollars for hearing aids. I guess he got it. I am not sure. I am sure though that I do not trust the go fund me pages always. Maybe this time it is legit.

I woke up again this morning feeling like crap again. My ear feels like it has been shot with a bullet. Sore as hell to touch the ear lobe at all. Can not wear my glasses because it just hurts too much. Did I get bitten by something? Not sure. I do not have anyone here competent enough to ask to look. He sits around scratching his damn head like he has lice. I have asked him about it...OH NO, I JUST HAVE DANDRUFF. I have told him to stay the hell away from me or anywhere my head might lay. Tired of his crazy ass way of thinking about things. He has a disgusting hat he wears while cutting grass. He does not have enough sense to understand or to believe that damn thing is most likely crawling with bugs that would love to live under his scalp. Why are people so damn unbelievably clueless.

Today he was saying even after what happen last night in London they have not cancelled that concert with Justin, Ariadne, Katie and Coldplay...I was surprised by that...then of course he takes this opportunity to say something horrible.....like there are a few of them that we would not miss....implying if something horrible happened to these entertainers...it would be just fine with him. GOD I HATE HIM SOMETIMES. He did this shit about Dale Earnhardt. When Dale died, I had to go get comfort from someone else...at their house....I did not even want to see this old man's face. He had little to say, but over the years, he had already said it....during races....when I was pulling for Dale...he was pulling for someone else screaming FOR DALE to hit the fucking wall and die. He got his wish that day.

IDIOT. Just another example of why I am so fucking unhappy....my life sucks out loud. I am beginning to feel beat down...

I have not heard from my daughter except in a text about her update classes that she has until the 10th to take or her license
will not be active. I paid the fee for her to the state when I paid my 45 bucks. I cannot take her update class for her. Not sure
what she will do. She told me she was trying to get in a class yesterday. If so, I have not seen the information updated on the
state site.

With her I am becoming a little numb from her behavior. I guess if you get use to being treated like crap you get use to it?
Or do we ignore it and hope it changes? I have done for and prayed...and all that. I was hoping after buying the oldest
granddaughter a damn car things would change. They did not. So, helping them changes nothing. It is clear each painful
day...that they do not like me very much. Which hurts like hell to the bone. I am not sure if I can take much more of it.
Not sure what I will be doing. Probably nothing. Are we not supposed to treat people like they treat us? You do not call
me so I won't be calling you. You do not come see me so I will not be coming your way. At Christmas time this year, things
will be changing. No Christmas dinner here. NOTHING. I will send the girls a card and hope they actually get it. But no
invite to come here...so I can be reminded that the of the year, they behave as though they hate me. I love them.

But I do not love being treated like shit....I just can not take it any longer.

Time to nip it in the bud....

moving on....

I will be thankful that I have a son who loves me...and a old man who is hard to take sometimes, but he does love me.

At least I got that....

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