Screened In Porch

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2017-05-28 00:42:39 (UTC)

Saturday spring cleaning

My son left early today to go to a race and my husband was outside cutting grass. I knew it would take a couple hours so I took this alone time and used it to vacuum, dust the furniture, cleaned both bathrooms (not the tubs) washed a load of clothes, lite a candle...by the time he came back inside finished from cutting the grass, I had just taken a shower and got off my feet to relax. We called in some grub, he went to get it.

It felt good to finally get something done. The yard looks great too just to be cut. We still have lots to do out there to fine tune it.
Seems like all we do is talk about it though. He loves to talk about it. But never actually does it.....he has someone picked out to come
help us but has not touched base with them. Just talked about it. I will never get use to that. I like to get things done. Sometimes I do believe that he is waiting for me to pitch a full blown fit or something so when he starts...to do it...he can stomp around like he is pleasing the nagging wife. LOL I am not a nagging wife. I will stop bringing it up at all. Matter a face, I have. He is the one that keeps bringing it up he is baiting me into saying the wrong thing like "since you brought it up, when are you actually going to start the work? The hold up is....????"

But I won't. I do not like this place enough to bring it up too much. I have a back up plan which does not include worrying about it.

So, I hope everyone had a great day. We have no plans to have family over or cookout or anything like that. I did tell him a while back that I do not want anyone coming here until this stuff is done. It does look that bad...even with the grass cut. But I will say we do not have any junk cars parked in the yard. We do have a pile of dead trees....and limbs piled up that he says he is going to burn. At this rate, he has enough crap to burn to start a fire to burn for a week. I have a man to call as soon as the fence back there is removed that can use equipment to level the area and get up all the crap inside the fenced in area....a dog house on concreate and several raised planting beds he built. Only thing that brought us any joy was the dog house area. I miss that damn dog. He was a great loving dog. Smart too. He died a few years ago. So, we are going to take down the fence and get all that up and plant grass again. It will look better and be easier to cut the grass. I want it more level in order to plan a future parking area when I get the driveway redone. If I stay here long enough for that to happen. : )

He told me today that the guy who is going to "help" is going to help him take down the deck and pool. What a waste of damn money!!
He had to do it that way. Did not treat or paint the wood to protect it...and it looks like shit. FOR REAL. The pool could be brought back to life with just a phone call and 1500 bucks. But the deck is falling apart. He wants to take it all down....board by board. Not sure what it will look like...we did install a French door to that deck. But he did not do that correctly either. Hard to believe he once built homes for a living. At least that is what he said. So, far, I have seen him spend a lot of money on tools and supplies...lots of trips to lowes....or home depot. Not sure what to think about that. And won't say it out loud if I did know. Hope I never really find out.

Last sentence was written in code. Figure it out and you are brilliant.

Okay... I watch a movie today called The SHACK OMG it was so good. Last a over 2 hours...very well done.....and I cried a few times...
and learned why forgiveness is so important. I may need to work on that.

I have been wondering a lot about the after world. If I do not forgive...then who will there to greet me? My foster mother or my biological mother? If GOD let her in....do I have to hang out with her in heaven? Or do I just burn in hell because I would prefer not to be greeted by her. I would not know her anyway. Same question about siblings and my dad. Foster dad? Or the real one? I do not even remember grandparents at all.

Here is what I want just in case God reads this. I want my daughters dad to be there....I want my foster mom and foster sister to be there....and I want my children whom I lost to be there....especially them. What else happens if up to GOD and I will go with the flow....

Lord know I do not want to be kicked out of heaven......

If I am .... I think that has been done...so I won't be the first...will I???

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