Therapist

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2017-05-16 14:35:02 (UTC)

I had a dream about him

This time. Its not him dying Or anything. Its him texting me asking me What's wrong. So I told him I was pregnant. He texted Back saying hopefully it's a girl - so she'd look like me. But... I wasn't. I hoping he's leave if something like that did happen... I'm thinking of him way too much.... I'm dreaming of him
I don't think he knows... That he's leading her on. How I'm tempted to date him-let him do these nasty things- never knowing he has another girl on the side. Funny thing is. He had his ex girlfriend . I wonder if he was leading her on too. But I don't want to ask him. Because I feel like I'dalready know the answers...

I was something on the side. I don't want to settle. I don't. I don't. I'm just looking for someone to put me first. Well. No side hoes.... Or doesn't talk to their ex's. Delets them afterward... I fucking hate that. I felt every guy... Who seriously didn't take me seriously or cared enough to ask me questions to learn about me... Details... Details. . sadly guys are dumb to know that... Some are. Makrs me question if I'm pretty enough or even worth getting to be known. Seriously... This sucks ass... I'm 19
And should not be thinking of marriage. Why would I want a boyfriend right now. I seriously just suck sometimes. Someone who tells me jokes. Laughs. Wants to learn more about me than I know myself. But that day will come... Eventually when I'm 35... Old. Just 35... Or 80. When I'm old and wrinkled. Lived life to the fullest. But be happy with the man who's 80 as well
Funny thing is. I hope I make it that far... I need to start living. Loving things. Stop thinking what I have to offer to someone without realizing what they have laid out in front of me...

Geek freak




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