applegirl2345

To Be Honest...
2017-04-30 15:21:40 (UTC)

Rough Patch

Life in April, sucked. I'm so glad the worst month of the year so far will finally come to an end.
Two weeks ago, the classmate that likes me and was kinda obsessed with me attempted to rape me. I feel alot of emotions about everything. The support I've been getting has been amazing. However, the school has been moving forward with my case at such a rapid pace that I was feeling very overwhelmed. I messed up by giving them too much info and they found the person who did it even without me giving a name.
On Friday before the weekend started, I had a meeting with the people looking at my case and told them how I felt. They said that they are just really worried and need to make plans for next semester and how to keep me and the school safe.
I hate how I feel about this whole situation. I don't want to destroy someone else's life. They did something wrong, yes, but I don't think jail would help. The way people are treated in jail is sometimes, just inhumane and if I were in jail and people treated me like that, I would become a angrier, more evil person.
Classes end this week and finals are next week. So there's only 1 week to get everything in by the due dates. I've been excused from classes with that person, but I still need to do the classwork to still be on track to graduate.
Telling my bf about this whole situation was really hard. At some point, he was beginning to break up with me because of my apporach. But he came around once I got it out and he's been really sweet. We've finally been able to see each other in person after a month and on Friday, we also got to have some alone time :) Whenever we get alone time, it sets us up on the same page. Our communication is still a work in progress.
Anyways, some positivity is well needed because I have no idea what will happen when I head back to campus now that they found the guy on their own. I am trying to keep on top of this and make sure the school doesn't move another muscle until I agree with what they decide.
And I have my own decisions too that I need to make PRONTO about how to protect myself if he decides to retailiate...his retaliation has been a major factor in where my fear of alll this coming from. To him, he doesn't think what he did was wrong and this can come out of left field and feel like an ambush. That's not the way I want to approach this. But I'm afraid that's how the school will handle him.
IDK anymore about anything. All I want at this point is to graduate because I am a healthier person (mentally, phsyically, emotionally) outside of school.
I really shouldn't have gone to college.




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