Screened In Porch

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2017-04-26 00:48:21 (UTC)

Deactivating again...

Today was the day I was sick once again of social media. I remember my space back n the day. I liked it so much. We could edit our wall to suit us and make it fit our personalities. It was fun to see the many different creative ways people would do their walls. But face book is not like that. We do not control much. FB makes whatever changes it wants too. We are sold out to the highest bidder over and over again. And we see so much silly drama. People acting like fools...tramps and thieves. I am sick of it. I went on facebook and started an account because my daughter is on it. She does not even acknowledge me on there. I get so sick and sometimes jealous of seeing post about people mothers..and how much time they spend with them....love them and pay tribute to them. I am not even acknowledged by her on my birthday or mothers day....never. I bet if I died, she hates me so much that she would not even say anything. I have a friend on there that posted a photo of her daughter recently who has not spoken to her in over 15 yrs.....she hates her mother too. So, it is not just me. But having her on there...is just a reminder to me that I never hear from her. I defriended her. She does not even notice it. So, hell, today I just deactivated. Fuck the whole damn thing. I did this a while back during the election for about three weeks. It was like taking a real vacation. I only logged back in because I was getting phone calls asking me where I was? So, there are people who like my post. I get that all the time. But knowing that right now is simply not enough. I am feeling myself spiral down into a level of depression that is going to be very hard to come back from.

I am trying hard to stay strong.

Went to the store about bought salad stuff. Tomorrow is a new day. I am going to attempt to begin losing some of this weight. I hate it.
I can do something about that. I need something positive to happen.

I need my phone to ring. I need a listing. Or someone who is ready to buy.

I need to stay busy. I know that.

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