Screened In Porch

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2017-04-09 23:13:04 (UTC)

Painful Sunday

Man for the longest time, my knees have been aching like crazy. But not thing morning. Oh no. I could barely remember my knee pain this morning. It was all replaced with my right shoulder. Felt like the left one did years ago when I had to have rotary cup surgery. I could hardly get my bra on after showering. It has been horrible. I took a couple of those strong aspirin this morning which eased it off a little. But, not much.

I pushed on preparing Sunday dinner and cleaning up afterwards. All the clothes are washed. I cleaned my bathroom yesterday. So, I will be pretty much caught up on things tomorrow. If it still hurts, I can ice it. I iced it this morning too. That first part after waking up is the worse.

I am not sure how the knee pain can just stop and move to another location. Anyone? Could it be something else? I am keeping my appointment to see about the knee shots. I will ask them about the shoulder too. The husband says it is probably arthritis. But you know me, I am thinking something more like MS or worse if there is something worse.

It gets lonely around here when they both leave for work.....the later part of the day and early evening is worse. I am feeling like crap again since my daughter has not talked to me in weeks. She never calls. EVER! She paid her MLS fees...and after that...I have not heard from her and that was only a text. I am sick of feeling like crap. I am not going to worry about it any longer. Soon, when she does call, I will hit ignore and let her leave a message. If it is about business, I can talk. If not...I see no point. I have done and done and done for her. I am done doing that. I am hurt. I am grieving deaths of people I cared about. I have no one to talk too about it. NO ONE! And in these very lonely times I live like now....right now.....I wish they were here. I believe I have lost the ones who gave a shit about me. Cept my husband and son. When they are here, they are very attentive. And for that I feel very lucky.

She will wish she had treated me better some day. I have already told her that it hurts my feelings that she does not call me. You would think if it was just me over reacting, my phone would have been ringing. But it does not.

At the end of the year we are going to the beach mid Nov. through first week in January. This will give us a chance to see how we like it there full time. Usually when I am there, he is working and sleeping. This will be like us living there. I am not celebrating the holidays this year like we usually do. I guess we will just send them a gift card. But that is it. I mean it this time.

Fuck being treated like shit.
If you hate me, you hate me. I get it.

I can take a hint.

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