My Letter To The World
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2017-03-20 19:14:06 (UTC)


Mood: Confident and worried
Song: None But Micheal Jackson's who's loving you is stuck in my head
Color: Yellow

It's Monday March 20th 2017 It's the first day of my 3 day fast.
Nothing is going in my body for the next three days except water.
No food, no soda, no juices just the water for the next 3 days.
Why am i doing this?

For physical reasons
For spiritual reasons
For Emotional reasons

Physically: Physically i want to be healthier and i want to lose weight.
Fasting isn't going to hurt me in small increments i've never done a fast or a cleanse or anything before so i thought a few days would be a good starting place instead of doing a crazy month long thing or longer like i saw when researching about cleanses and fasts and all that.
Right now it's set for three day's i might work up to more i don't know all i know is i'm going to fast and when i do eat i'm going to eat healthier things and have a better life style because i want to be able to go and do things and be able to physically i want to live my life and i want to be in the best condition physically that i possibly can be.
I want to eat healthy, exercise and lose weight and become the healthiest version of me.

Spiritually: It's not unheard of to fast and pray, Jesus himself did it for 40 days and while i cannot imagine doing it that long(The fasting not the praying) It's sort of the thing i'm going for here.... Just like i want to be at my best physically i want to be at my best spiritually and right now i'm not, i try and do well in some areas of my spiritual walk and then in others i have little to no effort and or i fail miserably and i'm tired of just going through the motions i want a better relationship with Christ and i want a better understanding of what i'm supposed to be doing for him in my life and so the next three days are going to be an intense time of both reading the bible and studying , and being in prayer and seeking what i'm meat to be doing here.
This will hopefully start to become more of a habit and lifestyle that will carry me on past the three days and into the rest of my life
I don't want a Luke warm relationship with Christ and i don't want a Luke warm life.

Emotionally: I'm not in a good place and haven't been for a while, but it's no wonder with all the crazy things that have happened in life plus the not having a good spiritual foundation or a physical one, i'm not sleeping well at all and have a horrible schedule, Not eating right and dealing with some depression and anxiety.

I think that if i Fix the physical, and spiritual the emotional will start to be better as well, i think that if you try to really improve one area of your life the others will probably improve too....
Sleeping better helps with energy and anxiety and all kinds of things.
I want to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every night/day and be on a schedule.
I want to Get through this fast.
I want to be spiritually stronger which means having faith which also would help with the anxiety and fear and doubt.
It's all connected and i know that if i can improve on one of these issues i can improve on all of these issues.

It's not going to be easy old habits die hard... but ive got to do something because i can't live my life continuing down this rabbit hole of depression and nothingness.
I've got to make changes and this is the first step to doing that.

The fast is going good so far today... it's 2:12pm and i feel a little hungry but nothing i can't handle, no particularly strong cravings or anything.
I haven't had any Bible time yet but i plan to do so in a little bit.
Honestly i just want to get out of the house for a little while, the weather is nice it' starting to feel like summer here, the days are getting longer again and that makes me really happy.

Wish me luck on all this