My Letter To The World
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2017-03-18 22:06:25 (UTC)

The Barrel Of A Gun

Mood: Thoughtful
Song: none but i am watching IT.
Color: Bronze and Blue

I have Friends past and present who have said that they'd be better off to just not care about anyone, to not have any friends to not have any drama or fear of getting hurt by just not letting anyone in, and it's not that i completely disagree i've thought that way too, I've been there i understand but i also know better than to stay in that mindset.
I know that the secret of life is that people change people and that it's the people that we let in that shape us into who we are, who we are meant to be... People teach us things some lessons are positive like how to be a good friend and what loyalty and honor and honesty are.
and other lessons are how to forgive people once they have mistreated us, lied to us or hurt us.
I guess the things people teach us are both the things to do and things not to do, but it's all important we don't go through any experience with out if having a purpose.
Usually it make you stronger and you can help someone else with the experiences you've had.

I think though that even in our lowest moments we... still have so much of us to give, so much of us that is worth saving worth keeping worth fighting worth trying....
These lyrics that have meant something to me me ever since i heard them come to mind.

"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tought
How come we don't say i love you enough
Till it's too late... it's not to late.

Our hearts are hungry for the food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
if your life flashed before you what would you wished you would have done."

"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up we're hiding behind skin that's to tough."
(it's when you've been through a lot of life and you've been hurt and you are low and you've tried to develop tough skin to block people out and not let yourself get hurt, you don't think you can do it anymore.)

"How come we don't say i love you enough until it's too late, it's not to late"
(I think we've all been in situations where we regretted not telling someone how we felt weather it was family, friends, or a romantic partner, and i think we just put things off that we shouldn't and.... i don't want to do that, it's saying that we should cause there are still situations that haven't happened, there's still life to live and love to give and it's not to late.)

"Our hearts are hungry for the food that won't come and we could make a feast from these crumbs"
( Even if we say or feel like we'd be better of alone, our hearts long for love and friendship and family and to be with people for that companionship and acceptance.
Yet we are all broken people and we hurt each other and let each other down and we feel like we aren't any good to anyone else, like what good am i to the world honestly??? i'm not a great person, i feel helpless and like i just bring everyone i love down seems like my track record for friendships isn't great and i always joke that i'm cursed when it comes to friends... Yet i know that if you bring your brokeness and i bring mine love can heal what hurt divides and if we all bring a little bit of ourselves we could make something amazing.
With my friends....none of us come from great circumstances we all have abuse and history and hurts and we all have messed up stories...none of us were particularly well off financially and when we would come together to just be there for each other and be happy and be together we'd pull together everything we had, weather that was pulling money for a meal or supply's for a project something fun we wanted to do, or if it was spiritual or emotional support... we gave it. and at that time it was a beautiful thing and when you can have that it will always be a beautiful thing.... we can make a feast from these crumbs that we all have if we put it all together.
Love is Infinite we can create as much as we want.
It's not like a fire that can be put out... it's eternal.)

"And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun if your life flashed before you what would you wished you would have done"
(Time is short, life is precious and i don't want t regret the things i did do or the things i didn't do and you know what???
Most of the things i regret(the biggest ones aren't things that i did do, but the things that i didn't do, so if i feel something i'm going to say it all and i'm going to speak bluntly and i'm going to do what i feel is right.
I wish i would have been more... would have been braver and more out going in my younger years and i wish that i wasn't afraid of losing people and i wish that... I could save my friends from things that they have to go through, save them from themselves even.
It's not a possible and i can't change other peoples actions and thoughts.... but... not for the first time i wish that i could make a person see themselves the way that i see them.)