Screened In Porch

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2017-03-14 05:06:06 (UTC)

Feeling a little better bout things

Okay, I researched as much as I could. I finally took time to read the article he was featured in. He mentioned his wife and spoke highly of her. Sounded like things were going good for them during that time. I almost feel that he would have never left her like that without life insurance. There was no go fund me page for his services and it was held quickly. So, I am not going to be concerned about it. I am just happy he was able to experience having his own kids, sharing hers and even grandkids. He did all that very well. A gentle man. A man meant to be a dad and a husband. So, I will no longer be mentioning that here. It is over and done. He is gone. We all die someday. We get closer to that day every day that we rise and shine. I am going to have to start looking at death in a different way. At this age, someone is dying every now and then. My time will come too.

I still do not plan on going to services. It is just too much for me to handle. People that know me know why and understand. I have only had one person to not like it that I did not go to a funeral. But she did not know me very well nor did she even try. Some people when you meet them it is all about them. What they can do, their plans, their past, their future. They do not take time to talk to you about you.

I am not interested in being someone like that. Nor do I need someone like that in my life.

You can gather that when I love someone, I love them for real. When I think the world of someone, I really mean it.
And you can also see that I do not blend well with fake, bullshit people. If I want to be entertained, I will go to a show and buy a ticket.

But I do love deeply and forever. That is true. I also know when to leave my memories to myself and move on.
I still have a life to live. I still have a family. I still have a business to run and things to do.
I will do the best I can. I need no glory. I need no parade or banners or screaming groups of people with their bic lighters lite.
I do not need fame or attention. I think I have what I need right here. I intend to water this relationship like it is a plant so it will flower into something even better. We been together since 1990. With only one time where we were not really together...but we made it to this place.

I have a past. He has one too. We do not sit around going on and on about all that.
We look toward each day to get through it to the next....then the next week, month, year.
We have dreams. People grow old can still have dreams. We intend to make them come true also.

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