Lenne

Welcome to My World
2017-03-09 08:13:36 (UTC)

Good 7th and Bad 8 of March

Yesterday was a bad day. A very-very-very bad-bad-bad day. I had terrible mood, nothing could help it. And I can’t explain why. I overate even though I ate not so much, whisky and cola was a disgusting drink, I couldn’t sleep at night and got no presents, no even a good word from anyone on the celebrating day. I wanted flowers, small post card with a line of nice words, candies in a red heart-box, a man, warmth, sex... I got nothing. By the end of the day I was ready to kill.
You know what? That made me feel like when I was a teen-girl: this is exactly what I felt regularly. Oh yeah, “lost childhood”... here it is. As I said, nothing changed inside really...
Party we had at work was good. It made me feel so either, like at my 14. We had wine, pizza and chocolate-fountains, I even drank a bit from it. It was good to spend time, but not that good it was on 22 of February, colleagues sang old pop songs and drinks and food disappeared fast, wine was sweet, but my head could feel it working... Anyway I love flowers, I took it home, and picture of me, and a cup and tea my colleague presented to me.
I found out by writing a book about me that I have a story of my own. I have a personality and a lot to say, to talk to, that I’m not so boring. That makes me feel better. Maybe that is the reason to write? Maybe this is the way to find myself, to love myself?




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