Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2017-02-13 22:12:47 (UTC)

I Can Let It Go Now

Some positive praise for myself (because I so rarely do that). I let go of some negative emotions rather quickly, and that's not really like me. It's who I'd like to be, but I'm not there yet. One step closer every time I can let go of emotions that aren't serving me.


As I mentioned last night, I'm not going to go into painful details about work, because it was very uneventful. The negative emotions cropped up as I was leaving. A regular customer (also a mall employee) came up to me in a fluster. She saw a "customer" walk out of PINK with a shopper full of merchandise. I put customer in quotations because customers buy things. This brazen bitch just stuffed a bag full of stuff and walked out like it was nothing... and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Snookums just happened to be near by and tried to catch up to her, but she was too far ahead. Even he isn't really allowed to confront her. He can only ask her to return the items, but he couldn't reach her in time. They got the license plate number of the get away car, but honestly in the moment that doesn't feel like anything.

So, after a pretty run-of-the-mill day, I left work so pissed off, because the company has tied my hands in such situations. I shouldn't care if people steal. It isn't my stuff. The loss doesn't come out of my pay... and yet, I do care. And it upsets me that there's literally nothing I can do about it. I kept thinking about running after her and snatching the bag from her. She was just so fucking brazen about it. I kept envisioning myself punching her in the face.

So, yeah... loads of negativity. As I was driving home I could feel my heart pounding. All I could think about was revenge. I didn't feel like I could ever get over it. All I wanted to do was find a way to make her pay. And I don't mean for the merchandise. For the offense of being a shitty human being. But after a few minutes, I did start to calm down. The merchandise isn't mine. And as crappy as it is that my hands are tied in regards to shoplifting, I know it really is for my own good. Some of these thieves will kill you.

By the time I arrived home (its an 8 minute drive), I was over it. Fuck that loser. That may not be the most Namaste mindset about it, but it helped me let it go. That woman probably felt like shit as she was leaving the mall. She heard Snookums calling after her. She heard me call her a thief. She saw other customers looking at her. She won't be back for awhile. And that's enough. I can let it go now.




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