rainy

My heart in a knot
2016-12-12 18:31:55 (UTC)

Not doing..

I realized the other day that there are some important things I'm supposed to be doing but I haven't been doing them. The biggest is looking for and applying to a grad school program. It seems like I lost motivation after the 8 months spent at my last job...and lately there has been a huge part of me that wonders if grad school will even be worth it, maybe that's because I've lost sight of what it is I originally wanted to achieve which is why it's so important to achieve your goals when you are young.


I wasted 7 dollars today, I know to some people 7 dollars is no big deal but it is for me which is why I'm writing about it. I was at the grocery store and I found a ton of deals on markdown items. One of the items was a cell phone sim card which was with the same company that I'm currently with, it was marked down to $7 from $30. When I first saw it I thought it was too good to be true, and even asked the cashier if it was refundable if it didn't work, they said no, but I did something I haven't done in a long time and rarely do, I took a gamble. Basically if it would have worked I would have saved $11 on my next phone payment and I would of been able to get a better phone. If it didn't work I would just loose $7, so I took a chance and now I lost my 7 dollars... like I said it upset me..I started to think about all the things that 7 dollars could have gotten me had I not taken that risk. I'm not a risk taker at all so I really disappointed myself...but you know what? I will make up for it, I've saved over the years by shopping smart so one little mistake shouldn't get me down.


I'm currently writing this and fighting sleep, it's only 8pm. This job leaves me with a lot of extra free time. Today after work I went to a few stores, one of them was an arts and craft store, I didn't buy anything but while I was in there I got so disappointed in myself for telling Ms. M I wasn't going to the holiday party, because while I was in there I saw so many amazing gift ideas that were really cheap and affordable but also nice, at the party they are going to be doing a gift exchange and I could have taken something nice...oh well, maybe another time.


The reason why I'm trying not to fall asleep is because last night I went to sleep around 9pm and woke up around 1am, I couldn't fall back to sleep so I was up until I had to go to work. At the moment it looks like I'm about to loose this battle, I can't even continue typing.




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