Ren

Journeytobehappy
2016-11-29 02:44:41 (UTC)

Life is perfect if it wasn't for

Me and a friend.
But everything else is okay except for boyfriend, he's beyond okay.

I've been really busy that's why I wasn't able to write here. Let me just update the highlights. First, we moved out from that terrible attic but in return, sister and I are now required to pay for water and current bills. Second, I found myself a job, no, more like a job found me. Professor required us to have a mini OJT at a catering establishment. I was nervous when friends/classmates were damn excited so I decided to fake my emotions just like I always do and you know what, it wasn't so bad. Coworkers were very nice, clients were impressed and boss offered us a job. Salary was relatively okay, he said he's going to raise it based on the individual's performance. Moreover, since we are still students, we can call anytime we're free. What I've gather from an older coworker his salary is almost thrice ours.
At small services, the boss get 14 times more than old timer. I get the feeling that boss didn't hire us because he liked us or our performance but because it means he'd be spending lesser and he controls a portion of our grade in this subject so I can see why he's so laid back about preferring novice with no background presented whatsoever than his other employees. But that's just one side of the story. I cannot be so sure about this. Anyway, whatever. i think this is a good way to spend my time and I could use some space consuming professional terms for my resume.
Third, I miss boyfriend so bad it felt like so many days since I saw him when in reality it has been only a week and two days. I miss him so bad, it's almost unfair. Fourth, I'm learning how to exercise my boundaries and slowly getting good at it by day. Now that my dorm is nearer to school than anyone else in our circle, friends had been flocking here and I'm so tired of being surrounded. I crave for my privacy, my alone moments of reflections, writing, reading. I missed eating alone whenever I want, however I want whatever I want. I missed sleeping alone. I missed a lot of things that can only be done when I am by myself. On the bright side, I feel less suicidal, less anxious, less lonely maybe it's because I couldn't think when I'm with them. But still, solitude is something that I really need. Fifth, an old friend of mine is slipping away. We have the same classes but he's been ignoring us. Everytime I initiate a conversation he'd just look at me and nod. now I know I'm not good at creating conversation but he does this with my other friends as well. Last time I ask the girl whom he's been hanging out these days, she said he's shy to talk to me. Everybody was confused because we were once close friends. Friends joke he's shy because he likes me but that can't be because he's gay. Everytime I initiate a conversation he'd just nod at me It's a little annoying so I may as well not bother him and accept he doesn't want to be friends with us anymore so I never initiate conversation again. But today, he got hostile with another friend of mine threw his paper towards him when he thought he was taking pictures of him. He accidentally nudge his bag and in the process and it fell from his table so another friend helped him but instead he got even more mad. I don't know what's up. But I don't think I have the right to ask. I'm not his friend anymore. I have enough self respect to not chase anyone.




Ad: