Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-12-06 08:05:03 (UTC)

Finish What You Start

The pervasive soreness that plagued my life yesterday (last night, even) was magically gone this morning. I also slept really well. Better than I have in a long time (I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in). I couldn't believe how good I felt despite only getting about 6 hours of sleep. It was 6 good hours, though and that makes all the difference.

My voice still isn't back to normal, but it's definitely better. Much stronger and even though I did a lot of talking at work and had to do a fair amount of straining so I could be heard, it didn't feel like it was going to leave again. I just sound like a 50 year old chainsmoker. Sexy, I know. I'm hoping tomorrow (even if I'm still raspy) that talking isn't such a strain. It kind of makes my head hurt.

Keenan had a moment of stubbornness tonight at ballet. Honestly, I don't know what happened. He was happy-go-lucky when we left the house, but fell asleep in the car almost as soon as we hit the highway. When we got to his school I woke him up, and it was like a switch had been flipped. The first words out of his mouth were "I don't even want to do dance anymore". I figured he was just lashing out because he was tired and didn't want to wake up, but he didn't snap out of it. While he was in class I ran to Central to grab a cup of coffee and when I came back, he was sitting out against the mirrors, watching the girls dance. I'll admit, I was a little peeved by that. He has one hour of dance a week, and not only am I paying for it, I leave work an hour early to shuttle him back an forth. I didn't raise him to be a quitter or a slacker. You show up and you show out. That's my expectation. I'm sure some would think that's too overbearing of me, but the world owes none of us anything. Working hard is the only way to achieve what we want in this life. If he wants to be a premier dancer, he has to put the work in now. Not to say he can't take time off, of course he can, but between being sick and schedule changes because of The Nutcracker, he's missed two classes in the past 6 weeks. There was no reason he couldn't have danced tonight.

So, when I got him in the car after class, we had a heart-to-heart about what was going on with him tonight. He said he sat out because his foot hurt. I called bullshit on that one. He had a small, mostly healed scratch on his ankle. Nowhere near where his shoes touch. He then proceeded to tell me that he had something pokey in his shoe. I checked, nothing in there, though I suspect he had them on the wrong feet (because he wouldn't let me help him get them on). It was one flimsy excuse after another. I made it perfectly clear to him that as much as I honor his feelings and don't want to make him do something he doesn't want to do, I also believe in sticking with your commitments and finishing what you start. I paid registration for the full school year, and he's doing the full school year. Come Spring if he decides not to continue with ballet, or if he decides to try another form of dance, then so be it. By the time we got home, he was in a better mood and finally admitted that he was being stubborn and that he does love dance, he's kind of getting tired of being the only boy in his class, though. I think he's just having an off day, because normally he doesn't care about being the only boy. He promised next week will be better. And I'll do more to reignite the passion he used to have. Watching male ballet dancers on YouTube usually does the trick!

I feel another really good night's sleep coming on. I'm tired.





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