Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-11-20 07:03:30 (UTC)

For What's To Come

Rationally I know I'll get through the holidays. Last year wasn't nearly as bad as years prior. I don't know if it's because people are more cognizant of the way they treat retail workers, or if some of the frenzy is quelled because so many retailers are offering discounts long before Thanksgiving/Black Friday. Or maybe my coping skills have improved. I know one thing for sure, I hate the holidays and I don't see that changing. Even if I am better able to cope with the craziness.

Today felt like full-blow holiday. From the moment I pulled into the full parking lot to the oblivious crowds of meandering shoppers to the full fitting rooms I had for most of the day. I wasn't expecting that today. Usually the week before Thanksgiving is the calm before the storm. I expect Monday and Tuesday will be slower. Not Wednesday, though. We're starting the Black Friday bag (the yearly freebie people lose their damn minds over) early access for the credit card holders. I don't ever do it. The free bag lost its allure years ago. Once Thanksgiving comes and goes, I'm going to have to be ready for the insanity one way or the other. So today was kind of a test run for what's to come. I did okay, but I was so grateful to be off at 7pm!

Everyone had already eaten when I got home, so I just had to worry about myself. I haven't been feeling much like eating well lately. I basically live off coffee, cold-pressed juice, smoothies, and the occasional Taco Bell bean burrito. Not exactly well-rounded. Tonight I made sautéed Brussels sprouts with Gardein scaloppini over organic quinoa with a dusting of scallions. It was good. I even made a little bowl to take for lunch tomorrow... but I still had to force myself to finish all of it. I would rather eat a bagel with Tofutti better than cream cheese spread. I can tell I'm dropping weight, and am curious to see where I'm at (tomorrow is weigh in day). I don't want to lose weight because I'm not eating well. I've started taking a fruit and veggie supplement, plus my hair, skin and nails vitamin, and Daily Purity in cold-pressed juice. I'm trying to get good stuff in. I just really don't want to eat the amounts of fruits and vegetables I used to eat. It's all forced right now. But I'm sure I'll get out of this slump.

Snookums did the laundry and cleaned the house today. I wish I could express to him how grateful I am. I told him, but I don't know if he fully understands. I haven't been feeling much like anything (eating, cleaning, working out). I just want to be still and quiet. Especially after work forces me to be the very opposite. I feel selfish for feeling this way. He asked me to pick Annie up from work and I almost cried because I was so tired from work, and I'd bought frozen fruit for smoothies and didn't want it to thaw (Annie NEVER gets off when she's scheduled to. Always 30-45 minutes after). So he did that too. No arguments. I'm just a sensitive mess and he loves me anyway. It's so wonderful feeling good feelings towards him. It's been good between us, and I truly hope this continues.




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