Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-11-17 07:21:03 (UTC)

The Energy Was Palpable

Despite a rocky start to the day, it's been a good one. I'm pleased with myself for the level of resiliency I demonstrated. Normally a morning like I had would have thrown me off for the rest of the day, but instead of letting it get to me, I just laughed it off.

One of the few things I don't like about my car is how delicate it's tires are. I've had to put air in my tires more in the two years I've owned it than I ever did in the 11 years I drove the Impala. Honestly, I can't remember putting air in Paula's tires. Fiona needs air whenever the temperature fluctuates. It's gotten to the point where I'm going to need to put quarters in the glove box just for such occasions, because I've been caught twice and had to call Snookums for help. One day he's not going to be there to help me and I don't know what I'll do.

So that's how I started my morning. I'd managed to get up on time. Shower. Dress. Do my hair. Put on makeup. The usual morning ritual, but with enough time to not have to rush. I even grabbed an oatmeal cup to have for breakfast at work and I had time to stop for coffee. All of that went out the window when I got into Fiona. As I was driving down the driveway all kinds of bells and whistles went off. 3 out of 4 tires had low pressure. The only one that didn't need air was the one Snookums had to fill last time. I limped to the gas station only to realize that I was 1 stinking quarter short! I'm fairly certain the kids found my change stash and helped themselves. That's why I had to call Snookums for back up, and thank goodness he answered. Normally he doesn't.

I ended up being 30 minutes late to work, but it wasn't a big deal. There was another associate there to help open. I couldn't be too upset about it. Allison helped me with that. When I called to tell her why I was running late, she broke into laughter. It was the reminder I needed to not take everything so seriously. And just because something unfortunate befalls me, it doesn't mean I'm cursed or doomed to have a bad day. It's a bad moment, not a bad life. I need to get back my resiliency I used to have. I'm getting there, but I've got a little ways to go.

I thought I was going to have a short shift, but at some point Christine decided that I was going to be doing phase 2 of the new seasonal associates' onboarding. I had not been told, so I found out 15 minutes before I was supposed to be off that I was staying another 5 hours. Normally, this too would have pissed me way the fuck off, but it didn't. I simply took my lunch and prepared to teach. Once again, surprising myself with how well I handled a curveball that normally would have sent me over the edge.

Snookums had an appointment at the VA hospital in Seattle today (he's being forced to refile his disability claim, so he's starting from square one), we met up for dinner when he was finished before coming home. We had pho, one of my favorite meals and caught up with each other. We're trying to do what we vowed to do last weekend, spend more time together. Be more present in one another's lives. This too is a work in progress.

I updated my diary picture! The last picture I had was 2 years old, taken right after my miscarriage, and every time I look at it I'm reminded of the incredibly searing pain I was feeling. Even though at that point the physical pain had subsided, the emotional pain was crushing. I was still in deep mourning. This new picture is from last week when I hiked down into Falls View Canyon and meditated next to the Big Quilcene River, right at the base of the waterfall. The energy was palpable and I left feeling incredibly energized. This was a happy moment and symbolic of the emotional growth I've achieved over the past two years. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I'm infinitely happier than I was even 1 year ago. Because happiness is a choice I make everyday. And this diary is a fabulous place to dump negativity so it can't live inside of me anymore. When I write about the negative stuff, it's a cathartic way of letting it out and back into the universe. Hopefully to get lost forever.




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