Ren

Journeytobehappy
2016-11-03 05:35:46 (UTC)

I like to socialize but...

Few things can only interests me at a time. Unfortunately, bonding with relatives over a holiday isn't one of them. In fact I find it uncomfortable for a lot of reasons.
1. they have a loose concept of boundaries. Understandably so but still! 2. they demand unfaltering respect just because they're older.
3. most of the time i can't relate to people I'm related to.

This has always been my mother's confusion and probably a source of embarassment. Why can't I be friendly and social like xyz?

It's not that i don't like to socialize at all. I'd be defying evolution and my biological workings if i said that. It's just that my hobbies involve a lot of time alone like self-loathing. XD. Jk. I mean i like to read a lot of things, be it things that don't seem to have an importance or if I'm in the mood I'd try to read something that requires a lot of brain juices which rarely happens. Haha.

It has been stated by callous cousins and drunken adult relative that I'm weird or if I borrow their term "abnormal".
I mind it a lot, it hurts, you prick! That image has stucked with me for so long sometimes I start to believe it is so and follows where I go. I've always been that weird girl and it gives me anxiety particularly when I'm walking alone paranoid if somebody is judging why I am the way I am. It's tiresome. Such is the price I have to pay in exchange of my individuality.




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