Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-10-29 07:06:08 (UTC)

I'm Still Grateful

Annie's hair modeling gig didn't go as well as anticipated. She originally was going in for a cut and color, but for several reasons (the stylist worked suuuuper slow, Annie's hair is very thick making the required deep conditioning treatment took way longer to apply, and the coloring application Annie wanted was beyond the realm of our stylist's current abilities - she needs more time to practice) that didn't happen. She got a cut and style... that took 4 hours. Thank goodness it was free. She still gets to go back another day for the coloring, and it will be free, but it can't be during school hours, so I'm not sure when it will happen since they only do appointments during school hours.

We made it to Seattle as a family, and it was a good time. Veggie Grill for dinner, then we took the kids shopping for some warmer clothes. Seems like everyone is getting bigger/taller and outgrowing everything. Thank goodness for places like Forever 21, Old Navy, and H&M. I wish I could afford the best quality stuff all the time, but that isn't possible right now. But I'm still grateful.

I didn't speak a single word to dad today. I wonder if he knows something is amiss? He was gone when I woke up. He left as soon as Annie and I got home (right before we left for Seattle), and he was asleep when we got home. All day I've mulled over how I'm going to broach this topic with him. I need to talk to him about it... but god, I don't want to. I really just want the whole thing to blow over on it's own, but I know that's not possible. That isn't how life works.

One of my Instagram friends has gone off the deep end. He's someone I've admired since we first started communicating online. Probably two years ago. He's an accomplished vegan cook and involved in a lot of new-age, hippie voo-doo stuff (like me). He's never expressed any kind of romantic interest in me... until now. Yesterday he Direct Messaged me confessing to finding me attractive and wanting to "get to know me better". I've had a few encounters like this with men in the past, but for some reason I feel very yuck about this. I'm attracted to him, too. But I can't let myself think about that. I still feel like Snookums and I are in a vulnerable place. I definitely don't want to jeopardize our healing marriage by having an emotional affair online. Thank goodness this guy is in California and there's no threat of seeing him in real life, because sex with someone new is something I have a very hard time not thinking about. I know my shortcomings, and that would be it. I love sex a little more than Snookums does, and that has been an issue in our marriage for years. We manage, but not if there's outside distractions. So somehow I'm going to have to end this distraction. Worst case scenario, I'll have to block him. I really don't want to do that, though.




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