šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-10-25 03:13:29 (UTC)

Recovery Support/Meat Packs/Coughing.

It's Tuesday early evening.
Doesn't feel like I have achieved much but this is not so, it's just my unrealistic expectations of myself. I'm still unwell and I want to behave like a well person. Hello. I can't. I'm sick. Recovery is coming to me in new ways. "God works through others" as this beautiful recovery visitor stated with a depth of quiet conviction, "and He is a God of Unconditional Love too."
I nodded my head and in my heart with total agreement. It's paramount that I quit drinking and smoking. This short battle with active addiction is enough.
I'll never have had enough alcohol. Enough is never enough.
Lovely to hear "the language of the heart" outside of meetings.
God is good to me.
She brought recovery to my doorstep and meat packs as well. How can I not be grateful because I am. Very grateful.

TMF was here before too so we could have a prayer together for work. That was difficult but I got through it.

Well I'm still fighting fire on several sides and time has got to burn them out. Maybe not all of them...I love this fire analogy thanks be to Jodi Picoult...certain types of fires can burn for years...other fires can burn themselves out then reignite...now I'm turning ordeal into a paradigm. I'll stop.

Things I've been blessed with today :

Meat packs that I'm going to share with TMF.
Easy Does It.
Be kind to myself. (I need to stop beating myself up.)
Practice moderation.
Take care of myself.

I also need to stop comparing myself with others who have had years of sobriety, and I mean YEARS.
This is not conducive to my gaining continuous sobriety myself.

Comparing goes hand in hand with beating myself up. Hard to turn around and inside out for freedom from crippling old behaviours/ideas and dysfunctional belief systems.
(Or any belief system for that matter which is designed to keep me sick.)

Writing about staying sick, I want to get better so I'm going to get some bed rest now. I'm cold and I don't want to be.





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