rainy

My heart in a knot
2016-10-25 20:04:46 (UTC)

I can't blow this.

So I have kind of exciting news and I wanted to write about it separately from my health update.


The lady from the job I applied to called me back today to set up training dates.. that's very exciting, however nothing is in stone yet, I haven't been offered a job yet and a small part of me is apprehensive about this job for other reasons. Either way the most exciting thing about it is that this would be the first job I've held that was remotely related to my field. Basically the networking opportunities would be wonderful for my future career in research... however I'm nervous about this company, I can't find any information on them and I've read news stories of how some of these companies mistreat and don't pay their employees.. and they get away with it because they are small companies. All the companies I've worked for so far have all been major brands.

The job also has some drawbacks, for one it is a far drive and that's a major drawback, however I plan on working with it anyway by getting a second job that would make it all worth it... anyway I have been wanting to get out of my comfort zone more and this would be the chance. The thing I'm worried about is wondering if the cost of gas will become an issue at some point because this job wants at least a year worth of work so I will have to stick with it because I've already told them I could. The second drawback are the few hours that they have available, this is only a part-time job and I don't know how reliable even the part-time hours are.

The benefits would be the networking, the training they provide as well as the certification (If I pass). Basically this job would look really good on my resume as well as any future pursuits I want to take because it offers what I haven't been able to find which is real world application of everything I've learned so far. Not only that but I'd be working along side professionals.. or at least I think so... honestly I'm not sure about this job... I think the people at the top are professionals but the people doing the job I would do would all be considered entry level, I don't even think a full degree is required.. either way this would be a new opportunity and experience for me if I get it.

Even if I don't get this job I'm already excited to meet the woman I had an interview with, although we are focused in different areas she graduated from a school similar to mine, she is also fairly close to age as me but a bit older. The difference between us is that she is already well established. I didn't think I would get to meet her in person so I was surprised when she said she would be there. It's weeks away but I'm already trying to figure out what will be the most professional looking thing to wear, I should of asked her on the phone but I don't know what kind of question that would be. I feel like life hasn't been kind to me and when I walk in she will notice that in my dress and how I look, not that I look bad, but my inexperience will show.


But still for some reason I still feel indifferent about this place, I'm wondering what is ahead for me. I can't look into the future and I'll feel guilty for going into something with apprehension.. it honestly makes me just want to go back to my old job where there was no need for professionalism or formality. Actually all of my jobs have been low quality service jobs.. I wonder if this job would even be considered the same. It did look like a lot of other people had applied to the job so maybe I can get an idea based on the other people who come in for training...


I just hope all of this isn't a waste of time because I've put off 2 jobs already while waiting for this one. Plus there is a call center job that is available and I'll be missing out on it waiting for this job to start which wouldn't be until next month... ugh.. a few months ago I missed out on a temporary job conducting surveys in the street, the reason I didn't take the job was because I thought it was a scam and not a real job, that was a big mistake because I could of done that job while waiting for this one.

At this point I have to just accept that my life has no formality, I might get this job or I might not.. I may end up accepting another job, right now there is no telling what will happen.. I have to just wait and see.




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