dnluna96

Diary of a Lost Star
2016-10-22 06:07:19 (UTC)

Because She Loves You

Sooo.... I needed to find a way to express my feelings without my parents or my siblings being able to snoop around through my tangible personal possessions. I figured since I already had an online diary account, this would be the best solution. I hardly visit my personal diary anymore because I've found other methods of showing my balled up feelings inside, but delivering them in a healthier manner. Music is something I feel I can always depend on to take me away to another place of sanctuary and peace. Also, (even thought lately, I feel I've grown weaker in this area) my little faith has also allowed me to continue to persevere life head on. And thanks to a certain person, I now have a little obsessive love with a group I considered an enemy back in middle school (due to an interview back in 1966 that became the center of controversy in the media). "And (Ed Sullivan quote) here they are... The Beatles!" Yes, that little boy band all the way from Liverpool has been one of center of attention for myself. I mean, c'mon, how can you not love them? I think I can comprehend that old chuckle of a line that states that one should never trust a person who doesn't like The Beatles. Haha! Anyways, I figured quoting a line from a Beatles song as my diary entrée would be a superb idea, as well as quite creative. Continuing on, my main reason for writing this is because of these feelings that I keep trying to hide away (oh look, another line) of a young influential boy who encouraged me to give these young lads another listen. Gosh, how blind I was when I was still friends with this boy. Why did he see the potential I never could? I was soooo afraid of being letdown again that I let that fear consume me entirely. But something about him made me want to grow more towards him... it was like a force I had never felt before, like a gravitational pull. He was quite the sweet talker, which made me flattered/cautious about what he had up his sleeves. I turned him down soooo many times because of things I had dealt with in my past, but didn't even bother to think of the possibilities and outcomes that could've spiraled out of the potential relationship he wanted so bad. Looking back, I feel like I made the stupidest mistake ever. Now he's all I ever think of. I imagine our times together, what could've blossomed out of it... Oh gosh Freddy, how I miss you so much. How I put up a high ego just to show that I can do fine on my own, but in reality, I miss you dearly... So much.. how I wish I could go back and relive our times we had together... but now I'm just stuck with distant memories... </3




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