Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-10-18 05:50:00 (UTC)

The Idea Of Moving On

My mind wants to do yoga... but my body is sore, worn out, and tired. I need a break to rebuild and restore. I know I'm putting on muscle, and that's never a bad thing. The soreness isn't from the yoga (although I have been challenging myself to stretch deeper into poses, and hold them longer). It's because I'm back in the gym, lifting weights. My body needs some time to adjust to that. So, tonight I'll attempt to get to bed a little earlier and sleep. I opened this morning, so I was up a little earlier than I'd like (and of course I stayed up far too late last night. Per usual).

Work wasn't terrible. It actually went by pretty quickly... Apparently we have a new Merchandising Manager now. She was in the office doing onboarding stuff when I got there this morning. I find it funny that we have a new Merch Manager so fast, because it took well over a YEAR for Allison to be promoted to Assistant Store Manager, but they filled her old position in a week. Meanwhile, Jenna has been gone over a month and we don't have an Ops and Staffing Supervisor, and there doesn't seem to be much urgency in finding someone. I mean, it took a year to finally put someone in the ASM position. I'm accepting my place for now, but actively entertaining the idea of moving on. I'm getting sick of the same bullshit the hierarchy keeps putting me through. And yet, I stay. Mostly out of security and fear of the unknown. I know what I'm doing. I know what to expect. I'm tenured in, and it seems as long as I do a kick-ass job selling bras, my job is safe. Although at this point, I almost wish they'd fire me just so I could collect unemployment and move on with the decision to leave taken out of my hands. But I'd never do anything to get fired. My character wouldn't allow it. I'm sick of being stuck in this weird limbo. I don't know if I actually am too valuable to their bra business, or if they're just blowing smoke up my ass because for whatever reason they don't want me in management. I want more. I deserve more. Like, maybe a few measly fucking vacation days. Or a sick day. But no. I can't take any time off, because I'm so "valuable". Whatever.

I got home right when we should have been getting ready to leave (to take Keenan to ballet). He came out of the house still in his school uniform. For the first time since starting in June, he told me he didn't want to go to dance. I asked him why, kind of expecting him to say he just wasn't into it anymore. Turns out he was just sore. PE made his muscles sore, and the he fell down, too. I convinced him to go (since I am paying for it, and I think it's an important lesson for him to learn as well. Always stick it out... unless you're legit dying). I convinced him that his warm up stretches would help (because stretching does help me when I'm sore) and that as soon as he got home I'd put him in a hot bath with peppermint essential oil and Epsom salt. He liked that a lot. And he did feel better. I honestly do hope he learned something today. Not just to stick with what you started, but about self-care as well. It's so important to listen to your body and take care of it. We only get one vessel in this lifetime.

I foresee a good night's sleep in my future. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm thinking I might go to Barnes and Noble to find some new yoga materials (either another deck of cards like I have now, or a book... or DVD. Anything really that might spice up my practice). A little treat to myself. A small respite in the chaos that is my life. Hopefully by tomorrow night my soreness will have quelled a touch so that I can enjoy twisting and bending again!





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