✉My Letter To The World✉
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2016-10-14 22:55:36 (UTC)

I give up for now

Mood: Ugh
Song: Africa by Toto
Color: Bronze

My mind is a jumbled mess of thoughts and images i feel like i drank too much coffee like i'm hyped when in reality i haven't had any today.
i feel shaky inside but my hands aren't physically shaking it's a time for typing cause i don't think i could focus on neat handwriting or neat lies if i attempted to draw something right now.
I wish it weren't such a dreary day or i'd grab my camera and run away for a while.
i'm worried about Will J and last night it struck me how much it would crush me if he were to pass away.
God don't let his time be now, they have things they want to do and a book to finish and Marie should't have to be alone and multiple continents will mourn the loss if he should pass away.
like i can't imagine what the world will be like... Someone else will have to pick up the torch and i don't know a person that's ready.
I was really lucky to get the chance that i did to be with them in Africa and i'm aware that it's a rare thing to have gotten that chance and i just... Thank you.
I don't have words that would be appropriate to express what i'm feeling
Isn't it amazing how one person can do something, live a life where they spread love...where it spanned over continents and nations over people and generations.
That is truly amazing... it is. it blows my mind and it is what i inspire to be one day...maybe God willing.
I could never live up to your story of course... but i could have one of my own and what is cool about that is our story's are connected you are what first inspired me in this and i am honored that i know you, that i got to hear some of your stories and that i got to first hand see how much you love those people and how you changed and inspired them.
I love you both.
And i hope that God isn't finished with you yet, not for you but selfishly for me.

Maybe i could be brave and strong like that someday.