Micheal97

Just teen stuff
2016-09-30 02:50:32 (UTC)

Jonathan Creek

Been a bit of a strange week in terms of my own thoughts.

I completely isolated myself at every chance this week, cancelled my therapy, stayed more or less off all forms of social media i usually have open in a tab.

I'm not even sure why.

but honestly its been great, I've loved the alone time.

Also, I got invited up to zoe's again in a few weeks for a Halloween thing , trouble is... it's all 'sex' themed and I'm kind of stressing about it...

I can barely handle thinking of meeting new people let alone being invited to a party all about drinking and shagging.

I don't think I've written about it on here yet, maybe i mentioned it in passing? i'll have to go back and read some of my stuff.

But yeah, when it comes to anything physical with anyone else at all, i just don't find it... fun? i guess the word would be?
In college with a group of lads, you'd hear all the crap from them and their nights with random girls they were sleeping with... god it was infuriating.
Opinion on total arse holes aside, there was this girl id been close to since i was little, like maybe 8 or 9?
And one stupid drunken afternoon a few years ago just after my 16th we ended up in bed together like a couple of idiots, and well yeah... shit happened XD

It was amazing, i can't play it off as though it wasn't.
But it ruined the friendship eventually. We tried a relationship as you do, when best friends sleep together, but it buckled when her sister got ill and things just fell apart.

Since her, I've tended to avoid as much 'intimacy' as i could, there's been stupid make out sessions and the odd squash and squeeze rarely but i just don't have the interest in going 'all the way' with anybody.
Couldn't tell you why.
Honestly the feeling of seeing how other people react to different things i can do is probably a more exciting feeling for me than the actual acts themselves. Is that weird?

Just feel a bit Jonathan Creek about everything and it got me questioning a lot about myself.




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