Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-09-26 05:12:17 (UTC)

The Soy Milk In My Coffee

I spent the better part of my day laying in bed watching a Law & Order: SVU marathon. I went back and forth with myself over whether or not it was worth it. Should I even bother getting out of bed? Pretty much the only thing motivating me to do so is my borderline obsessive drive to get in the 10,000 steps/100 active minutes I've goaled myself in S Health. A silly app keeps depression from smothering me. Whatever it takes, I suppose.

To be totally honest, since I've challenged myself to reach my steps/active minutes goal, I have been feeling better. If not mentally, certainly physically. I've dropped a bit of weight (I'm at the lowest weight I've been in probably 5 years), my back pain has lessened, I feel a bit stronger, and then there's the mental drive to get up and walk, even when depression tells me to stay in bed. I'd say S Health has been a truly positive discovery. I owe it to my phone for reminding me that it was already pre-loaded and very user friendly. I was looking through the different things you could track in S Health and started using the food tracker this week. Not only does it track calories, but macros, too. I think I mentioned I used it to see if I'm getting enough protein (the age old question vegans always get asked), and I am, but I noticed that I haven't been eating enough in general. The bulk of my nutrition is coming from the soy milk in my coffee and multivitamins. I'll oscillate between eating super nutrient dense, getting my smoothies in, cooking all my meals, loading up on tons of veggies... to eating a handful of grapes and drinking 8 shots of espresso. Not good. So, today marks a solid week I've been tracking my intake in S Health, and I'm doing much better from when I started earlier this week. Which in turn makes me feel better, because I know I truly am being as healthy as I can be.

I treated myself to a couple new teas. Peppermint and Peaches and Cream (no actual cream is involved). After taking the kids to Battle Point, we did our customary stop at Central Market, and I made a commitment to myself to drink more tea, and less coffee. Not that coffee is without benefit, I just think it would do my body good to reap some of the many benefits various teas have to offer. The peppermint tea I got is so bright and lively. I haven't tried the Peaches and Cream yet, but it's a white tea (which is supposed to be very good for you) and has the most appealing, delicate, fruity smell. I'm excited to try it.

I had an interesting conversation with Annie this evening about relationships and sexual identity. Despite having me as a mother, she's become entrenched in the standard "monogamy is the only way, and everyone outside that box is a cheater" colloquial view of relationships. I'm poly. I've always been poly. I've done everything in my power to suppress my profound unhappiness in a traditional monogamous marriage, but there came a point where I couldn't ignore it anymore. Snookums and I have found a way to come to terms with it, manage it, and still maintain a fairly stable relationship, despite the fact that he knows I don't find him to be "enough", and I never will. Annie is 17 years old, and I've never been terribly open with her about my sexual orientation/identity. I figured it wasn't important. But now as she's getting ready to go out into the world, I feel it's vital that I be the one to help shape her view of what constitutes a healthy/thriving relationship, and not society. Because society is warped as fuck. I want her to know some people love one person exclusively, and some people love 3 people equally but differently, and that's okay too. Neither way is the "right" way. It's no one's place to judge. Ultimately it comes down to communication and respect. It's nobody's business but the ones in the relationship, so just stop judging and start trying to come to an understanding. I could tell she was paying very close attention. I don't know if what I was saying made lots of sense to her, or she was just fascinated to hear bits and pieces of my dark side. As she experiences more of the world, meets new people, and makes new friendships, I hope she sees what I'm saying is true. And I hope she encounters fewer of the straight-laced, sticks up the ass, fundamentalist Christians we're surrounded by currently.




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