Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Rythmic Circular Motions
In this moment, I am feeling very calm. Very peaceful. Safe. Secure. Balanced. I did a good job taking care of myself today, and other than not eating enough, and maybe needing some more water, I feel like I met all of my needs on whatever level that may have been. Primarily the emotional and mental needs (two very different things).
Snookums and I had a love-in this morning/early afternoon. With dad coming home tomorrow there will be less chances of us having the house to ourselves during the day. Particularly with our conflicting schedules. So, we laid in bed all morning. We talked, laughed, made love (have I mentioned I hate that term? I have no idea why, but I dislike "fucked" way more, and "had sex" is so blah... anyhow, I digress). I think we needed it. The intimacy, and not even the sexual aspect. The closeness. Focusing on one another, and just being in the moment. It's something we don't do enough. We laid together until a little after 1pm, then he had to get dressed for work and I prepared for the kids to come home and dressed myself, because Keenan has ballet on Monday's now.
And onto the topic of ballet, Keenan has taken the disappointment in stride. He seems to be totally over it, and was completely focused and determined to do well in class today. I on the other had, was a bitter bitch. Kiki and I went for a walk in the park across the street, but for the last 15 minutes of class, I sat and listened to a few of the other moms chatter away like clucking hens about how excited they were about their precious little so and so getting a part. The thing that really got to me was that one of the girls in Keenan's class who couldn't look any more like she doesn't want to be there, spends half the class sitting on the floor in the corner, SHE GOT A PART! I've never actually seen her participate in class, but from what her mother was saying, she's been taking classes there since she was 4 (so 4 years). I'm wondering if there's some sort of grandfather clause that gets long term students in before newbies. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it, but I honestly find it hard to believe this girl actually is significantly better than Keenan. But it's hard to say, since she doesn't ever do what's instructed.
Kiki and Keenan wanted to go play at the playground with what little daylight we had left after ballet class. I took them to Raab park, so I could walk while they played. I like it there, because the playground is right in the middle of the walking path (much like Battle Point, but on a much smaller scale). I have to take 3 laps at Raab to 1 lap at Battle Point, but it still serves the purpose I need. Afterwards, I took the kids to Central Market for dinner. They like to sit upstairs in the dining area that looks out over the whole store. They can watch me shop while they eat, and they feel so independent, because they get to go up there without me. It's cute, watching their budding independence blossom.
I ran into one of my coworkers in the bath salts/essential oils section. We talked, and she let me vent my frustrations about Keenan's ballet class (which I had just come from, so I needed to let it out) and she showed me pictures of her cat's birthday party (yes, we're both crazy cat ladies). It was about as close to socializing as I get. I didn't really need anything, I was just enjoying some alone time while the kids ate, but I did end up buying this delicious smelling organic brown sugar body scrub (chocolate peppermint, with all kinds of skin-loving herbs and oils in it) and smudge sticks. My plan was to take a hot bath, and relax in bed. Exactly what I did and am currently doing. I've got my calm meditation music going and I'm feeling very zen. It's a beautiful feeling.
So back to this amazing body scrub... I slathered myself in it and massaged every inch of my body in rhythmic circular motions. That in and of itself felt like meditation. Then I rinsed it off with hot Epsom salt water and what was left behind was utter magic. My skin has never felt as soft as it did when I rinsed that sugar scrub off. I'm mostly covered by clothing now, but even as I caress the back of my hand, I'm in love. It got me thinking, maybe I could make something like that for myself (instead of paying $7 for it). It's entirely natural ingredients: brown sugar, sweet almond and avocado oils, rosemary, basil, cocoa powder, peppermint essential oil, and a few other natural ingredients. I think my main obstacle would be figuring out the proper ratios, but trial and error would help me nail that down. I should give it a try!
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