rainy

My heart in a knot
2016-09-05 20:17:12 (UTC)

What happened...

I'm sorry for not writing right away, that was my intention but my health took a downward spiral, I'm still not 100 percent but I feel much better.


There have been a lot of things I want to write about lately and it's all jumbled in my head. I don't know where to start so I guess I'll start on an amalgam update. Well it has been almost a month since my first one being removed and I've since found another dentist who I've already spoken to who seems like a much better choice. I will still have to visit her office to see if this is the new place for me. My goal is to take all of my paper work from my previous dentist and seeing how much she can work with me. From my understanding her office is a lot more updated than the one I started at, this can either work to my advantage or be too costly. She however accepts many more insurance plans than the other one but either way I hope when I go talk to her that she can work with me on this. I've discovered that sometimes they are willing to work with you if you just take the time to explain things. Either way I am eager to get these things out of my mouth.. despite even having many second thoughts I feel determined that I'm doing the right thing for my long term health.


I've also discovered another man who is a holistic doctor, but I am not even considering looking into it at this point because I don't want to overwhelm myself plus I will have to wait anyway until insurance sign up starts which is in November. I have quite a few hopes and expectations right now about how things are going to play out for the rest of this year. My only wish is that I had started this journey years ago, but either way I'm starting now. Right now our cooling system is off which will allow us to stretch our dollars further, we shouldn't be cutting it back on until December maybe..


A few hours ago I got really sad thinking about something.. the thing is that I'm even embarrassed to write about it, it was all triggered by a site I had come across, I wrote about it once before, it's the site where a bunch of people go and say mean things about people who make youtube videos, being around that kind of negativity is detrimental to ones own emotional state and I shouldn't have been there. The people there remind me of the people at my last job.. actually I've been thinking about my last job a lot lately and all of the red flags that I missed, I was so busy making money that I wasn't paying attention to all of the red flags and errors in management, it actually gets me very passionate about the entire subject. Actually I've been feeling passionate about other things too, for example, my goals in research. Today I was thinking about the idea of me making an positive impact on the lives of others, but I'd have to reach my goals first.. you know the saying "leave the world a better place than the way you found it"? I think that's how it goes or something like it, but the point is that we are here to try and make things better and people do it in little ways... but little ways add up to big progress and I want to be apart of that... my problem right now is that I feel like my place in society isn't significant... and it's the worst feeling because I'm human just like everyone else.


well, I need to go for a while..





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