Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-08-25 07:49:22 (UTC)

Idontgiveafuckitis

I managed to shake the fatigue I was burdened by yesterday, but it was replaced with a burning desire to not give a fuck. I set my alarm for 8:30am. I got up when it went off... peed... and then decided that I just couldn't. I set my alarm for 9am and figured I'd try again in 27 minutes. Mind you, I had to be at work at 10am. I finally dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 9:15am. Thank goodness I'm on this no makeup kick. It makes getting dressed in 10 minutes so much easier! I didn't even bother fussing with my hair. I just took it down out of the pineapple, shook it, and left (for those unfamiliar with the term "pineapple", in the natural hair world, it's a high pony - at the very top of the head, near the forehead - that curly-haired girls utilize to preserve their curls for several days. It helps save on manipulative damage to the hair, the excess use of expensive products, and I don't have to re-wet my hair everyday). By the time I got to work, my Idontgiveafuckitis seemed to have been cured.

As we all expected, Nicole did not come back today. She was so pleased with how the store looked, that she didn't feel the need to come back. I don't get anxious or upset about her visits, but other people do. So for that reason, I'm relieved when she reschedules or just doesn't come. My coworkers turn into anxiety riddled drama queens. Like she's going to fire us all because the wrong panties are on a mannequin. They need to get a grip, but good luck telling them that when they're in a panic, spiraling out of control. I spent the majority of my day doing little projects around the store. Changing fitting room light bulbs, organizing hangers, filling bra walls, recovering the cotton panty bar. It was crazy busy over in PINK, but the VSL side was dead. My numbers weren't awful, but not nearly as stellar as the associate's in PINK. Which helped me make the observation that I can only say I truly don't care about numbers when I don't care that I'm not making them... When I'm making my goals, it's easy to not care about the numbers. The true hallmark of not being driven by sales figures, is to not feel upset or defeated on the days when I don't hit the arbitrary mark I've set for myself. Which I didn't today. I always shoot for $300/hr. When I left I was only at $261/hr. I had one more customer in line, so I don't know where I ended up, but probably not at my personal mark... and I'm okay with that. There have been several days I slayed, and it all averages out.

My plan when I got home from work was to go for a run (even though I already had all my steps in, I still felt like pushing myself to do more, since I was feeling better today than yesterday), take a nice hot bath, then lay in bed with my book and a bowl of fruit. It didn't go down that way. Before leaving for work, Snookums had basically promised the kids that I'd take them to a park when I got home. I don't know why it upset me. I often do take the kids to a park, but I don't feel like I need to do it everyday, and today wasn't one of the days I felt up to it. But he voluntold me, so what was I supposed to do? I took them to Battle Point, so I could run and they could play.

The path at Battle Point is a little over 1.5 miles round trip. I did 3.22 miles total (thanks to S Health keeping track of sustained efforts and adding them to my activities. It's creepy how it knows when I'm working out). I didn't run the entire thing. I did a combination of run/walking, because I'm not able to run more than half a mile without wanting to die. While I was struggling along (but not quitting), there was this girl running in the opposite direction. She passed me 3 times, an from what I could see, never stopped running. Not once. I don't know why, but all I wanted more than anything in that moment was to see her stop running. To see that I'm not the only one out of shape and struggling. But nope. She was fit and trim, strong leg muscles, long and lean. Powerful lungs. It's not even her slenderness I coveted. It was her stamina and fitness. THAT'S what I want! I just gotta keep at it. I CAN GET THERE!

I still got my bath. A long, hot, luxurious bath with organic seaweed, Epsom salt, and some patchouli bath salts as well. I did a bentonite clay and witch hazel mask while reading my book, and just soaking in the relation. Now I'm about the have a very happy ending to my day (I'm ovulating. All I can think about is sex... Snookums is more than willing to oblige), and then blissful sleep. I'm excited.




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