Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-08-24 07:23:18 (UTC)

The Most Pervasive Fatigue

All day I've been battling the most pervasive fatigue. Not the deep, core of my marrow fatigue I used to suffer when I was battling unchecked Thalassemia. Just a kind of tired day. Even though I slept great. This morning I kept having little bouts of dizziness, so I decided to relax and watched part of a Law & Order marathon. While there is always something that needs to get done, there was nothing pressing. Other than Keenan's dance class. So, it was a self-care day.

Keenan absolutely LOVED this new class! So much so, I don't think he'll want to go to his regular class on Thursday. Compared to the class he was in today, it's definitely for little kids much younger than him. He was taller than the girls in this class, but they were closer to his age. I'll definitely be enrolling him in this class for the fall. He also expressed interest in auditioning for The Nutcracker. He did last week too, but he was really excited about it after class today. It's all anyone at the studio is talking about. I'm kind of excited about it, myself!

After dance we made a quick stop for groceries, then came home so I could cook dinner. I made a mean beefless beef stroganoff over orecchiette pasta. To achieve the creaminess sour cream normally would add, I did my pureed white bean trick again (adding spices to the bullet as I blended). It worked like a charm. Now all I can think about is all the other recipes I can sneak white beans into! Not only does is improve richness and texture (in a healthy way), it adds more nutrients. I want to try making a cake with it. I think that would be good.

I didn't get hardly any steps in, so after spending some more time with the kids, I left for the gym around 9:30pm. I was (and still am) feeling that same nagging exhaustion, so I didn't run like I'd originally wanted to (I wasn't even going to go to the gym today, I was going to go run the 3 mile loop, but dusk snuck up on me really fast. It was for the best). I walked just over 3 miles and did a few weight machines, before heading home. I wanted to be home before Snookums got home from work. I don't know why. Like it would have even mattered.

Earlier today Annie commented that I looked like I was losing weight. I don't think so. I did weigh myself yesterday and it was down about 6 pounds from the time before when I weighed myself, but I'd also gained weight. So really I just got back down to were I was before. I logged it in S Health, and I'm thinking about making that something I hold myself accountable to. If I don't drop some weight, at least I can not gain anymore. I just don't want to get obsessed about it like I did in my 20's. I'd weight myself daily, hoping to lose a pound every day. I'd starve myself to achieve that goal. And most of the time I did it. But at what cost? I look back at the entries from that time, and everyday I'd post how I'd lost another pounds. I was literally starving myself. All the while thinking I was getting healthy. So far from it. Even heavier, I'm healthier now!

I'm going to sleep. Fingers crossed this tired feeling is gone by morning. I open, and I think our district manager will be there unless she cancelled day two of her visit. I kind of hope so, but then again, I don't ever do anything she can't look in on. I'm as consistent as the sunrise... okay, not quite, but I'm damn good at my job!




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