Katie-Brave

My Letter To The World
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2016-08-19 01:43:58 (UTC)

Hello Me,

Mood: Thoughtful, Tired.
Song: Shark in the water By VV Brown
Color: Highlighter yellow.

This is short little letters to myself a different ages, with three year gaps between them.
These are the ages that were randomly given to me so these are the ages that i'm doing.
I challenge you, if you are reading this to take the time to do this little challenge and let me know so that i can read it.
Rules:
You can't tell your past self the future.
You can only talk about things that your past self has already experienced and things they are dealing with currently.


1. Age 6.

Hey kid,
wow look at you, your so innocent, you don't feel like you are because i know you worry and i know that you've been through some stuff this year the whole second degree burns thing and being sick but hey i hope you know that it's going to be okay, mom and and dad are going to be okay.
You are going to be okay and your not going to be in the hospital long your going to get out and be able to run and play soon you can feel it in your bones.
And also it's not the end of the world because you have to wear only dresses for now, your friends, (Andy) isn't going to think less of you because of it, your still his friend and he still likes you even if you have to dress like the girl you are.
enjoy your life ...Life is going to be everything and nothing you think it's going to be and while i can't tell you what happens next you are on a precipice of the rest of your life, your about to experience changes you've never known before and your going to hate it, but eventually your going to see that it was right and that things work out the way that they should because you see beauty in unusual people and unusual places you'll see beauty in time, I miss you, and i'm proud to have been you for a little while.

-You?, Me?, Us.

2. Age 9.

Um, Hi it's you again,
You haven't heard from me like this in three years, you were six on the verge of a new life in a new town, where you had to go to a new church and leave behind everything you'd ever known and your friends.
It was hard, but you've adjusted your out of the phase where you don't want to be here and your out of the phase where you feel like an outsider you've found your groove, got yourself a little group of friends, K and S and you've got Catrina, and your finding yourself.
You don't have to be jealous that K and S live right next to each other and you don't have to be just like them or anyone else just come out and be honest your favorite color isn't baby blue like everyone else it's green, you like green. a color nobody else chooses and you feel weird but you know what? that's a good thing because you are special and unique and you should embrace it, you are weird it's one of the best things about you.
And if K and S and everyone else doesn't like it, well they can just get over it, i'm proud that you went to that sleep over birthday party and i'm proud that you chose the Green gift bag instead of the pink and blue one's all the girls were fighting over and i'm proud that you stood up for your self when the other girls sneered and said eww green? and you said for the first time "yes green it's my favorite color" and they were shocked and then it was over nobody cared and you? you won a victory that day, that day i was proud to be you.

-You?, Me?, Us.

3. Age 12.

Dear Katie,
Your not very happy to be Us right now, but that's okay you don't have to like right now, because it honestly sucks it seems like the whole world is falling apart.
Your in Jr. High your finding out things that you wished you didn't know and your experiencing what it's like to be betrayed by friends and people so close to you that they are life family.
Your realizing what it's like to have a broken heart and how much people you love can and will hurt you.
Dad's said some really hurtful things... and you don't think you'll ever forget the words, but he's dealing with his own betrayals and his own medical stuff, that medicine he's going off...
Even in the mists of this you have hope for him and you love him and you know he loves you no matter what, you should always remember this.
Also your seeing new life coming in, your first Niece, Chloe's born and your 12, you feel like your too young to have nieces or nephews but your also excited about the idea of being the cool young Aunt and doing stuff with her unlike your aunts and uncles.
Your heart broken and depressed over all and your thinking that you wish you just weren't.
Weren't alive, weren't here.
All i can say is yes your feelings are real, yes you have a right to feel the way you do, yes you have value yes you matter and i am sorry for the things that your going through but i want to remind you that your strong, who you used to be^ what you've already seen and experienced has prepared you for this, for your life and you aren't going to lose yourself your determined to be who you are and because of that you can be proud of us for all we are, were and hope to be someday.

-You?, Me?, Us.

4. 15.

Hello Katie long time no see....or wait that's not true i probably saw you today in the mirror but that's not the point, okay i'll stop being a cheesy adult now....
anyways Wow your 15, your straitening your hair and wearing make up and crushing on two guys at the same time...and may i just say can you be any more obvious? yes i know your blushing at this but it's not even new news you know that he can tell you like him...gah! oh please stop being so cliche and writing his your name with his last name...
yes you do genuinely love both of them, and yes you already know that you can't have both and you already know which one you don't think you can live without and you've already guessed which one actually stays in your life.
Your also wondering if this only liking older guys is a thing...
but i suppose if your going to do silly things and wonder about this stuff doing it young at 15's the time right?
Your getting what you think God wants for your life, your getting ready to go to London England...your nervous and excited and you almost cry at the thought of it.
Your in 10th grade, and you got through Jr. high and your first year of high school, you have anxiety attacks every Tuesday but you love Choir once your there i know you hate mom for forcing you to go but try to cut her some slack you know she's just trying to do what's best for you.
Your family life is better, dad and you? have a great relationship like you have always had.
Your happy, and your in a good place right now for the first time in a long time you feel like you can breathe.
Enjoy it, embrace it without worrying and be proud of the person that you want to become.

You?, Me?, Us.

5. 18.

Hey You,
Oh man, you are one Lucky girl, you are 18 years old you survived sickness and injury's, your brothers crazy schemes, your friends and your teen years that you can't be tried as an adult.
You wen't to London England, you've been to Thailand, you spoke in front of homeschool group people at your high school graduation, you made it through High school math to graduate.
You've started legally searching for your biological family, you realized that the two guys you fell in love with at 15 aren't right for you one is to be your life long friend, like a brother.
and the other? well he's off in his own life doing who knows what and your glad that things didn't turn out the way you were imagining them.
You hopeful and your searching for what life will bring you next.
You started teaching the youth and it's hard and causing some friction you know you won't give up because you know it's the right thing to do you love it when it's a good night and you pray hard when it's a bad night you love them with all your heart and you promised to be there for them and you are.
You found someone else that you really really like, a guy who's to old for you you think and so you've kept it a secret from anyone and everyone so far.
You wonder if you ever really liked anyone else before because the way he makes you feel is different from anyone else and you wonder if it could ever be possible. *sigh* you've got your heart to far in it to feel safe and you know that your crazy for feeling this way.
You became a photographer, you changed, you grew and Your looking around at the friends you have and the life your leading and your hopeful and terrified of the future and as always i can't tell you what happens next but i will say this you still see beauty in unusual people, places and things, your once again at the precipice of the rest of your life and your as ready for what's to come as you've ever been all the things that you've been through and all the people that you've already been have prepare you for this, but don't worry you still remember the promise you made your 6 year old self and you don't think you'll ever forget.
I'm still here, i'm still you, all of the past people we once were they are inside of us with all the lessons we've learned.
I think though the lesson we must learn now...is to grow again and let change in.
I miss you, and i am proud to have been you for a little while.

Love, God bless and hang in there for the long haul
yours sincerely Katie You, Me, Us.

Sorry if this is weird...haha
I could go up a little higher in age but i'm stopping at 18 i don't particularly want to go into the next few years of my life...

Peace


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