Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-08-11 08:02:50 (UTC)

Patchouli Lime

I'm feeling pleasantly tired, and certainly not because it's 1am. Time means nothing to my confused, nocturnal body. I'm tired because I just got home from the gym (yes, this late). I find that I'm much more likely to go at all if I go at night. Willing myself to get up early hasn't worked out too well for me. So, going at midnight seems to be the ticket. I'd love to have a more "normal" schedule, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.

I can't seem to will myself to do much of anything in the morning without some level of societal pressure (like the expectation that I'll show up for work). If I don't have anyone else depending on me to get up before noon and get dress, then I find it exceedingly hard to do so. Is it depression? Is this just a blip in my character? My temperament? I have no idea. I just know my rational mind wants me to keep banking hours, but my hedonistic mind wants to keep brothel hours. I'm so complex, I know.

Snookums went into the mall security office to drop off his application (he turned in a resume last week, but they needed the full packet done too). He was so excited, he called me, and from what he was telling me it sounds like he got offered a job as a security officer. They aren't feeling too confident about one of the new guys they hired (he no called/no showed, and when they tried to call him, his phone was disconnected). So, they said they were going to go ahead and order Snookums' uniforms and he's going in on Monday to fill out paperwork. I hope this is real, and he isn't reading more into it that there is. After two months of him being unemployed, without even the VA stipend to tide us over, I need some relief from the constant money crunch. It makes me feel panicky. I also hate that his mother is always giving us money. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I was original scheduled a short closing shift. My plan was to go for a walk along the Clear Creek trails in Silverdale before work (because I can never reach my step goal during short shifts), but right as I was getting ready to walk out the door Kaitlin called and asked if I'd come in early to cover the tail end of her shift. Something happened with her dad and he was being taken into surgery. It wasn't an emergency, but Kaitlin's mother had her son and she needed to go relieve her mom so she could be by her husband's side. I told her it was no problem. So instead of walking, I stopped at Starbucks and got my customary latte, then headed into work.

It was somewhat slow. I still managed to meet my sales per hour goal. Which was nice, but hardly my focus today or any day. I'm still actively working on being more present and embracing where I am, what I'm doing, and not focusing on how much longer I'll have to do it. If I can just do my work without thinking about the outside world too much, I'm golden. And it's been going well. I haven't been this satisfied with work in years. I can't even remember a time...

As anticipated, I didn't make my step goal. Since I came in early, I got to leave earlier than I had been scheduled. Payroll couldn't support me working an additional two hours. Which was cool by me. I hate closing, only because that last hour without customers feels like the longest. I decided at that point that I was going to go to the gym. So what if it was late! I stopped at home to have a bite to eat and change. I chatted with the kids, then headed out. By the time I got there, it was a little after 10:30pm. I got distracted by the kids (which was fine, of course). I didn't go too hard tonight. Not like a couple nights ago. I got my steps in and did some weight machines. Nothing crazy. I wasn't there more than an hour. Then I stopped at Central Market for a box of cereal, granola, and soy yogurt. I had a craving for Cheerios with sliced banana and coconut sugar. Instead of Cheerios, I found some Veganic Sprouted O's, which you can't deny sound healthier than the old standby (and the nutrition label supported that theory). So, I got those. Fingers crossed I like them!

While we were in Port Angeles yesterday, I picked up a delicious Patchouli Lime hand and body lotion from Country Aire. It's made by Dr. Bronner's, but I've never seen it anywhere else. Not even places that carry Dr. Bronner's soaps. I slathered myself in it after showering today, and I must have gotten 3 or 4 compliments on how good I smelt today! First from the barista guy taking my order at Starbucks (he said "not to be weird or anything, but you smell super good"). Then at work I had a woman tell me that whatever I was wearing was playing so well with my pheromones, I should never wear anything else. Huge praise. And then a couple more "you smell nice"'s. I truly do appreciate it, and as long as Country Aire keeps carrying it, I'll keep it around. I read somewhere awhile ago that patchouli has natural anti-depressant and mood enhancing properties. It's also anti-inflammatory. I think that's why I've always loved it and felt drawn to it's scent. There's just something about it's woodsy, earthiness that entices me. It's supposed to be an aphrodisiac as well. I don't know about all that, but guys seem to like it on me. So, maybe!

I'm so ready for my bowl of cereal and bed. I'm off tomorrow, but I really want to at least attempt to get up at a decent hour and get some things done. I always feel so unproductive when I sit around all morning and half the afternoon. But my brain won't let me be productive.




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