Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
So Damn Hedonistic
I'm feeling very good right now. I can't say the day started out that way, but it's ending on a positive note, so that's what I'm holding onto. The way I feel right now. My intent is to continue practicing the positive self-care that has led to me feeling good in this moment. I'm constantly saying I'm going to get in shape/eat better/take better care of myself/go to the gym more/work out on a consistent basis/etc... but it has yet to happen. I'm going to keep treating myself with respect. The respect I think I've been lacking for awhile now.
I was in such a funk this morning. I couldn't bring myself do anything, even though there are plenty of things I want or need to do. Instead, I procrastinated by signing up to take online surveys for money. It seemed like a good idea at the time (making extra money is enticing with my husband unemployed), but now my email is being bombarded by survey notifications. I still haven't decided if I want to continue with it. Some of the surveys are really time consuming, and so far I'm only getting survey invitations from the sites that make me accrue a million points to redeem for gift cards, instead of the ones that pay actual cash via pay pal. That's the one's I'd rather do, but I don't get to choose which surveys I do. They're by invitation based on my demographics.
Hunger made me get out of bed. Hunger and a lack of vegan options in the house forced me to go grocery shopping. While out and about I caught a glimpse of Fiona (my car) in a store window and noticed that her passenger side headlight was out. I find it funny that in the 11 years I drove Paula (my Impala), I never had burned out lights, never hit an animal, never had a flat tire. Not a single issue other than replacing the battery once and having the breaks done once. So far in the 18 months I've had Fiona I've had a flat on the highway going 70mph, I hit a raccoon and broke my bumper and fog lamp (which is still broken, though no one can tell by looking at it), and then the headlight. I finished my grocery shopping, then came home. Snookums went and got a new bulb and fixed my headlight while I cooked dinner. He's going to try to fix the fog lamp too, but he needs some way to lift her off the ground to remove some sort of scrap guard that's in the way. So, that probably won't be happening anytime soon.
We were going to take a family hike this evening, but it got too late, and the sun is starting to go down progressively earlier every evening. After the kids went to bed, I went to the gym. That's kind of when the tides turned in my mood. I'm always telling myself I'm going to go to the gym more often. And I have been compared to months past, but I need more. I have to rededicate myself to healthy living. I have to stop being so damn hedonistic. I have to get back to eating well and making fitness a priority. I'm not feeling my best, and I know I'm the only one who can change that. I'm worth it. This is a rededication to me.
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