Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-07-24 07:40:14 (UTC)

First World Inconveniences

I can't say I ever expected to have an encounter at work that mirrored one of the exact reasons I left Facebook over two months ago. But I did. I find it almost incomprehensible that people don't understand the Black Lives Matter movement. I walked into a conversation where two of my coworkers were bashing the movement. Calling the protestors ignorant and stupid for blocking traffic and causing scenes. Literally, my people are being shot in the street by police. Unchecked, unprosecuted, or exonerated by mostly white juries, and my white coworkers are complaining about first world inconveniences. It infuriates me to the pit of my soul! And then they want to give me some all lives matter bullshit. Yes, all lives matter, but it's black lives that are being exterminated. Can we focus on that for a minute?

Christine witnessed the exchange (which ended with the two white girls walking away, wanting nothing more to do with the conversation, I'm sure thinking I'm in the wrong, and I don't know what I'm talking about it). I expected some sort of reprimand, because I violated delicate sensibilities, but all I got out of her was "only people who aren't affected by it are against it". Subtle agreement and understanding. I'll take it. I'm satisfied with the knowledge that the two individuals in question both won't be working with me much longer. Not because I can't work with people who don't agree with me. But because this goes deeper than just a difference in opinion. I question how they see me if they don't see that society favors them over me. It's hard to explain, but I at least want those who benefit from white privilege to see me, see other people of color, and to at least be able to acknowledge that they have a distinct advantage. An unearned birthright, and something needs to be done about that.

Other than that unfortunate exchange, it was another pretty average day at work. Whatever shift I experienced that has been making work much more bearable, I'm still eternally grateful for. I wonder if losing a couple coworkers I didn't exactly love has had anything to do with it? There really isn't anyone I can't stomach working with. Not even the two from today. They're sheltered, close-minded beings. I can't be upset by the narrow views of a couple sheltered, privileged individuals who really can't identify with me no matter how hard I try to explain my reality. They will always be who they are, and I have no choice but to accept them for that. I'd go crazy trying to wake everyone up. So, I guess I will live amongst zombies until something finally shakes them awake. Hopefully it's not Trump ending up president! But I digress. Work was decent.

I think the healing of my knee has reached a turning point. Last night I soaked the pad of an extra-absorbent Band-Aid with witch hazel and put in on the deep gouge. Already the slight infection I noticed a couple days ago had calmed down just from being diligent with fresh bandages and Neosporin, but I read that witch hazel is good for wounds too. And since it's done wonders for my face, I figured I'd give it a shot. I pulled the Band-Aid off this morning and it looked better. Much less red, the healthy skin around the margins was tighter and less inflamed. Over-all it was an improvement. I put more Neosporin and a fresh Band-Aid on before work. When I got home and changed into pajamas, it didn't appear that I'd oozed through the pad of this Band-Aid, so I left it on for now. I'll change it again in the morning. Even with it finally starting to heal, I'm still pretty sure I'll be sporting some level of scarring once all is said and done.




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