Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-07-16 06:00:30 (UTC)

I Climbed A Mountain Today

I climbed a mountain today. For some that may seem like a fairly silly thing to do. For others it may be a common occurrence. One that doesn't elicit the same visceral response it did for me. Either way, I'm only responsible for my experiences in the world, and today I climbed a mountain and in doing so, metaphorically broke through some emotional and physical boundaries I've set upon myself. I dare say it was life-changing and I've come out of the experience changed... and maybe with a new scar... I'll explain that a bit later.

I knew last night and this morning that I wanted to go hiking today. I figured there was no harm in me spending a day alone, and Snookums really needed to spend some time with the kids. I encouraged him to find something to do with them. I really needed to do some thinking. Self-reflection. I needed to get away. As I was doing some research, trying to find the perfect hike (ideally close by), I stumbled across a Washington Trails Association article about Gold Mountain. I'm familiar with the Gold Mountain Golf Course, but somehow wasn't aware that it was near an actual mountain. In fact, the tallest point in Kitsap County. Everyone always hikes Green Mountain because it's lush and green. Poor Gold Mountain has been clear cut (replanted, but the new trees are still tiny), and has tv, radio, and cell towers at the tippy top. The view is spectacular, but the mountain itself isn't all that picturesque. For whatever reason I felt drawn to the 1,600ft elevation gain, and the fact that I haven't hiked it before. I've done Green Mountain 3 times.

The start of my Gold Mountain adventure started at the Gold Creek trailhead (the same trailhead I use to access Green Mountain via Gold Creek. It's more woods and nature, less forest road than the Wildcat Lake trailhead, which I still want to do at some point). As I entered the trail, I could tell it was going to be pretty steep and quite the challenge, but really I handled it better than I expected. I'm in so much better shape than I was even 5 or 6 months ago. And a year ago I never would have made it. I did have to stop several times, but it wasn't because I needed a break from hiking.

The irony of hiking a mountain with a cell tower on top of it is that as I was attempting to escape my daily existence, I was being inundated by the very thing I was seeking to avoid. Incessant texts from Helena. Today it was about Annie. What was her ACT score? Is she taking the SAT? What extra-curricular activities is she doing? Is she volunteering at a hospital? She should volunteer at a hospital. Etc. Etc. It just went on an on. To the point where I just had to flat out say that Annie was the least of my concerns right now. So, as I'm physically exhausted from the elevation gain, I'm mentally exhausted from the same shit I endure everyday in ordinary life. I cried. I was mad. I just wanted to be left alone!

Just as I was coming out of the woods and onto an access road (up to the towers), she just stopped texting. It was all I could ever hope for. I don't know what came over me, but as I got my first glimpses of the gorgeous vistas, I began to sob. I don't know if it was the elation of getting to the top, or if all the stress of life unburdening me... it was so primal, and so deep from my soul. I stood at the top and sobbed. Thank goodness I was alone, and hadn't seen an entire soul the entire time. The only other signs of human life were two planes that flew overhead.

The top of the mountain was bald. Only a few mature trees, lots of young trees, but the bonus to that was WILDFLOWERS! So many colors and varieties, and bumble bees galore! The smell was intoxicating. If I could have bottled it and worn it as a perfume, I would have. I took so many pictures. I know no one cares about my hikes like I do, but there's nothing better than sitting in the bath or in bed later, and being able to relive what I saw up there. I took all the pictures.

As I approached the very top, I had three options. Straight ahead was the way up to the towers. There was a gate which I presume was to suggest I not go up there. To my right was a road with a sign that said PRIVATE Bremerton Utilities. From the trail description I read, I knew that was Bremerton's watershed. My only option was to go left. The road came to an end and there was a rocky jetty about 1/4 mile ahead of me. No trail to it, but I could tell the view was amazing. So, I picked my way through Foxglove, daisies, tall grass, evergreen shrubs and old logging debris until I reached the high/rocky outcropping... and then quickly realized I was scared! So, I sat down. Once I was close to the ground, I could relax a bit and enjoy the panoramic view. To my left was Bremerton, in front of me I could see Hood Canal and Puget Sound way off in the distance, Lake Symington and Lake Tahuya down below, and to my right was the Olympic Mountains. I sat on top of that mountain for over an hour. Basking in the sun, eating strawberries, listening to music, and texting Snookums. I was connected to what I love, but totally separated from the stressors. I came to the realization that through all we've been going through, in the moment when I was scared and unsure of what to do the first person I though of was Snookums. I could have texted Corey or Helena. Hell, even Annie. But I chose Snookums. It could be he's just who I've always depended on, or it could be a sign he's who I want to depend on. I'm not sure how I want to read into that yet. I just know he helped calm me down, and gave me a little dose of courage to stand back up and work my way down to the access road. And I made it unscathed.

I found it funny that I was able to get down from a potentially dangerous perch at the top of the mountain, but I totally ate shit coming down the safe gravel road! It was steep, and the gravel loose, but I wasn't scared at all. Perhaps that was my downfall (pun intended). Feeling too secure. One minute I'm walking along, enjoying the amazing view, and then out of the blue I find myself sitting in the middle of the gravel road. Hurting, wondering what happened! Thank goodness I'm flexible, or the fall would have hurt even more than it did. Somehow my left foot slipped out from under me as I was stepping forward with my right foot. So I landed on my left knee, sitting on my left ankle, with my right leg extended out in front of me. I think we called that a herkie in cheerleading. The fall itself didn't hurt. Just my knee. The impact was enough to tear a huge hole in my leggings (thank goodness I wore them. I almost didn't!) and I had a decent scrape even under a section of material that didn't tear. It was a mess. It's still kind of a mess. I can't get all the dirt out of it.

The rest of the walk down the mountain was uneventful. Tough, but thankfully not long. Once back in the woods I had trees to hold onto for stability. I made it down with no more spills. Which was my biggest fear. The whole way down I couldn't help but think how terrified Kiki would be on this trail. She's scared of loose down hills, and after today I can see why!

I came home and got right in the tub with copious amounts of Epsom salt and I did my best to was out all the dirt and gravel. Snookums came home from taking the kids to Point No Point, and he tried as well. I went so far as to scrub my knee poor battered, bloody knee with tea tree/oregano oil soap detox soap (which HUUUUUUURT) and a washcloth, but even that was ineffective. Snookums poured hydrogen peroxide on it, applied Neosporin and a gauze pad, then wrapped it. It's currently throbbing like a mother, but I think I'll live. And I kinda hope it scars so I have a physical reminder of how cathartic today was.




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