Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Flood Over Me
My mantra (be here now) helped me get through what initially felt like an endless day. At 9am, 5:30pm felt like a million miles away. Yet, the morning flew by. At lunch I had 3.5 hours to go, and that felt like forever... but I got through it. After my break, I had 45 minutes to go. That last hour is always the longest... but I made it through that, too. Truly being present makes work much more bearable. Much like pain, and the way I cope with that. Accepting it, embracing it, allowing it to flood over me, that's how I get through it. Sad that I compare being at work (somewhere I - in general - don't want to be) to being in pain. Sometimes it's like that. Tomorrow will be even more of a challenge. I opened today, but I close tomorrow. A full 8 hour shift. Closing is the worst. Mostly because I have to deal with shrink (the loser meth addicts who come in to steal to support their habit). I'll get through tomorrow, too.
I'm trying very hard to mend the relationship with my husband. He's been applying for jobs and in general being very nice to me. While I was at work I got a call from our insurance company letting me know he didn't pay our car insurance last month. How on Earth can someone have all the money he had last month and not pay a bill as important as car insurance?! All the steps we've made were immediately undone. I don't understand why he makes the choices he makes, and I'm reaching the point where my love for him is being overshadowed by how sick I am of putting up with the immature bullshit he subjects me to on an almost daily basis. He is the love of my life, and I'm having a hard time understanding why he's doing what he's doing. Over and over again. I don't want to talk about it anymore...
I came home from work with a mild headache and pretty much went straight to bed. I ate veggies and watched a Criminal Mind marathon. That was my evening, and it was good. Somehow (4 hours later) it's after midnight. Where did the evening go? I suppose I should go to bed now. Particularly since I don't really have anything I need to write about. I'm rarely at a loss for words, but tonight I'm feeling quiet.
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