Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-07-01 04:40:52 (UTC)

How Could I Forget That?

I figured it out! While hiking, of course, because that's where I do my best thinking. I figured out why I've been feeling lost, detached from myself. It's because I've been getting zero alone time since the kids got out of school. In two weeks I've basically done nothing alone. Unless you count the 10 minutes I'm in the shower, or the 30 minute roundtrip commute time to and from work. I take them everywhere with me, and spend most of my time at home and days off trying to figure out how to entertain them. As a parent should. But I also need to honor and respect my need for quiet, solitary, alone time. I NEED to get out and hike alone. Have a cup of coffee and read a book. Alone. I can't lose myself in the raising of my children, because I'm not the best mother I can be when I'm depressed and unhappy.

Because I went to bed before 2am, I actually got to enjoy more than half the day. I woke up naturally at 8:30am. I wanted to go hiking with the family, but Snookums is feeling a little under the weather and the kids have been nothing but sniveling brats when it comes to going on anything more than a nature walk. Even without realizing it, I intuitively knew I needed some time alone.

I took a chance and visited a new park. I'm a little sad I haven't tried it sooner, because I really liked it! North Kitsap Heritage Park. Right under my nose this whole time. It's a very well-maintained network of trials between Poulsbo and Kingston. I don't know the history of the land (I'm assuming it was private property at some point, because I stumbled across an abandoned car in the middle of the woods. A 1970's era sedan, too deteriorated to tell more than that), but now the area is protected forest. It's beautiful. I saw so much wildlife. Birds, butterflies, dragonflies, chipmunks, lots of bees, and so many varieties of mushrooms and wildflowers. I think I posted 12 pictures to Instagram. I'm not sorry, it's what I love and care the most about. My family and nature. If you don't like it, unfollow.

I got all my steps for the day during my hike. So, all told I walked about 5 miles (the trials loop and intersect to create infinite hiking opportunities). I walked out of the woods feeling renewed and upbeat. Something I haven't really been feeling lately. It was towards the end of the hike that I made the connection that I needed to be alone... That's all I needed. How could I forget that?

Our Thursday tradition of going to the farmer's market included Snookums today! He was impressed by how big and vibrant the market has become. He hasn't been since it moved to Evergreen Park. I hope he goes with us again in the future. Although, our market time will be slightly altered due to Keenan's dance class. It's right smack dab in the middle of market time. I didn't think that through. Oh well, we'll make it work.




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