Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-06-25 07:28:22 (UTC)

An Exercise In Self-Governing

It was a strange day for me. Emotionally I've felt on edge. Like I'm on the verge of either a meltdown or an angry outburst. I did neither, but it was truly an exercise in self-governing. I wanted to on several occasions.

I woke up this morning from what any vegan woman would consider a nightmare: I dreamed that the new bag Snookums bought me was actually made of ostrich skin. All I could imagine was how awful it would be to skin a ostrich (or any animal, but it was an ostrich in my dream). I was all set to take it back to the store and let the poor sales lady know how I felt about animal skins as fashion accessories, when I found what I needed to set my mind at ease. A tiny little tag in the very bottom of the main compartment of the bag. It said "main material 100% PU, lining 100% polyester". Thank goodness! Polyurethane may not be the most natural material, but it isn't skinned animal. I'll take it. Now I can allow myself to like the bag fully... except for the fact that I don't feel fully comfortable carrying it yet, and I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do when I want to go hiking. I guess transfer what I need into plaid backpack, which is living in the backseat of my car currently. Kind of a hassle, but only a small one.

Keenan has been asking to cuddle for the past week. So, this morning I spend a few hours in bed with him and a couple kitties (Zephyr and Zeke) just relaxing and watching a Law and Order: Criminal Intent marathon. Usually laying around doing nothing feels like a waste of time, but it didn't today. Honestly, it was needed.

Annie has been having some problems peeing the past few days. Actually the problem has been coming and going for months now. It needs to be addressed, so Snookums made her an appointment to be seen this afternoon. I'm a little irritated with how they handled it. We left the appointment two hours later not knowing anymore about what's wrong with her than when we went in, and we definitely have more questions. All they did was collect a urine sample and feel around on her abdomen. Now we have to wait 2 days for the results of the sample to come back. I told Snookums we need to find another doctor for the kids. I'm not at all happy with this place. I need to get the kids on my insurance so I can get them into my doctor's practice. The #1 sought after doctors in the county practice there. Meanwhile the rare times my kids need a doctor, they're relegated to the community clinic, because nobody else wants to take state insurance (it's free, from when Snookums was unemployed). We hadn't done anything about changing them over because they never get sick, but then this happens and I realize just how lacking healthy care coverage is for the less fortunate. If I went to my doctor with the same issue, I'd know same day what the hell is wrong, and I'd have meds to fix it. But the low income clinic makes you wait 2 days with no idea what could be wrong. What about peace of mind, even? Like, knowing that irreparable damage isn't happening in the two days you're waiting for a test to come back? The classist hierarchy in this country is fucking sickening. Poor people die because of shit like this. I don't feel bad for wanting better for my children, but my heart bleeds for the families who can't do better for their children. It's infuriating to say the least.

I promised Kiki and Keenan I'd take them to the park after Annie's appointment. Even though all I really wanted to do was crawl back in bed and sleep, I did as I promised. It's not even that I'm physically tired. Just kind of short tempered and done. With everything... We went to Silverdale Waterfront Park because they just put in a new playground there. The kids were disappointed to find that there weren't any swings anymore. I'm finding that more and more parks are omitting swings. This new generation of young parents feel that swings are too dangerous *insert exaggerated eye roll* It's stupid if you ask me. Teach your spawn not to be an idiot and walk in front of them. Duh. But I digress... due to the lack of swings, the kids lost interest in the equipment fairly quickly, so we walked the boardwalk and along the docks. They saw all kinds of sea anemones, mussels, barnacles, and what looked like millions of baby salmon. They were mesmerized!

We went to Target and then Red Robin for dinner (for what felt like the millionth time in a week. They've now been cut off. No more bottomless steak fries for them... at least for a little while). Trying to get used to this new purse, I accidentally left my phone behind. Thank goodness I noticed before we even left the parking lot. Only because Fiona's stereo didn't sync with my Pandora account. I wouldn't have realized until we got home otherwise. See, I really wasn't on my game today. I never go anywhere without my phone. Mostly because it counts my steps. And I like to take pictures of everything.

Because I spent the majority of the day laying in bed with Keenan, then sitting in a doctor's office with Annie, I didn't have even 4,000 steps in by 9pm. So, I got the kids settled down with a movie (Night at the Museum) while I went for a walk down Lofall (our street). In the over 33 years we've lived here I've never walked down Lofall. I've only ever walked to the fork that turns off down to the old ferry dock, and then down ferry road to Kitsap Memorial State Park. Tonight I walked straight. It's entirely residential, and a very interesting walk. The houses are a hodge-podge of upscale and modest. Most with beautiful gardens, and the road looks out over Hood Canal. There's hardly any traffic. I probably encountered 4 cars my entire hour long walk. It was peaceful. I had fun with the kids today, but I swear it felt like they said "mama...mama...mama?" a thousand times. The quiet was blissful. I think I'll walk that walk more often. Whether I need the steps or not.




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