Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-06-12 06:39:13 (UTC)

Everything Is Amplified

I've been in a strange emotional place all day. Overall, I'm happy. I feel pretty great. Then, I'll hear a touching commercial on the radio, or think of something overtly happy or sad, and I'm ready to break down and cry a river. It's strange. I'm not used to feeling every damn thing so deeply, and it's been like that all day. Everything is amplified.

I couldn't get myself to up and going today. So, I spent the better part of the day sitting in bed, playing games, scrolling Instagram. It was hardly productive, but it felt so good. My body felt one with my side of the bed, and nothing was hurting. A rare occurrence, and one that wouldn't last.

Because I had a short shift today, and I can't get all my steps in unless I work at least 6 hours, I needed to do some walking before work. My plan was to walk the Clear Creek trails, but when I stepped outside it was raining. Normally a little rain wouldn't stop me from getting out and hiking, but when I need to go to work afterwards, the last thing I want is to be soaked. So, I put in my ear buds and mall walked. It worked. I didn't have to try too hard to get my steps in. No heroic efforts needed (like walking laps around the grocery store at 11pm... I've done it before). I can't say I enjoyed it, though. I'm becoming more and more detached from mainstream society. I need a change of scenery. I just don't know how to go about it.

The last hour of my shift was brutal. An otherwise easy night got tough when my back pain kicked in with a vengeance. The searing heat/tearing/burning sensation no amount of stretching, twisting, or massaging could ease. Oddly enough by the time I got home and got in bed, it was infinitely better. I'm thankful. I open tomorrow (open to close, actually), so the last thing I need is to be up all night with back pain.

I've noticed a huge difference in the way my body feels in general. I think all the walking is helping. Not to mention my diet (diet as in what I need, not the restriction of what I eat). I know I've lost weight. I know I'm stronger. Leaner. I feel really good. I'm very motivated to get fit and in shape. Losing weight is incidental. For the first time every, I feel really happy with my body right now. And that's a lovely feeling.




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