šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-06-09 02:34:54 (UTC)

Thursday 09th June.

Haven't written an entry in a while - well I have written two via my phone and lost the transmission signal halfway through writing. One of the minor setbacks of "rural living".

My third grandchild will be coming out of his mother at the end of the month. A very spiritual celebration for me. Wrote the daughter a letter last night to ask if I can come visit when baby is here. Phone contact with her is hopelessly lost, she never replies. One way or another, I want to see my brand new grandson. Hope that it all works out God willing...

There are difficult and challenging times living on my own again. As long as I don't live in my head for long periods things are evolving again - and that's what the miracle of recovery is all about. My head can be a dangerous neighborhood don't you know.

Miss my grandchildren very much and as I look at their artwork in my art diaries, I can cry now. I send them goodie parcels nearly every week now...just no chocolate products. They're not allowed it because of their teeth. I got them microwave popcorn and tasty beef sticks instead.

Crikey! I nearly got run over! Barstard! He could see me crossing the street! I wanted to run after him and smash him! Talk about driving arrogance.

My book is calling me to write it, so I'm making a start soon. I'm more than halfway through the art salvaging project, so that is good. Pleased with the results. The fingers on my drawing hand are sore and numb though, so I'm going to have to take it easy with the rest of this project.
The reason being is that I am handwriting the entire manuscript for my book before transferring it to a digital format. That's a mission, I know, however, it needs to be done this way.

Mental health support group is going great guns. I love attending now and feel safer. Good progress. The miracle of understanding company.
Forging new bonds with significant others and strengthening relationships.

I can be quite rough around the edges, I know. I swear like a military trooper, smoke cigarettes and when I'm angry behave like anything BUT a lady. Hmmm...where are these confessions getting me?

Drank three tiny glasses of Pinot Noir last week, then got it into my head a couple of days later to drink an entire bottle of South African Shiraz. Wow, just wanted to get high...haven't drunk since January. It's been a year now since I've done weed. Ten months since my Kemadrin binge, six tablets...I'm doing well...no matter what ANYONE thinks to the contrary. I've bought another bottle this week, of South African Merlot Shiraz, which I love because it's richer flavoured. I don't want to repeat this a third week. My personal recovery is paramount and first priority now.

I miss writing here daily, however, my life is full of purpose right now and journalling has taken a back seat. My writing efforts need to be going into my book, and my little family needs attending to.

God bless you one and all....love, light and goodwill.

Amanda22Jane. Till next time.




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