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2016-06-06 15:50:39 (UTC)

Adulting, Camp, and kissing dreams

Mood: Sleepy
Song: 100 years by Five for Fighting
Color: bronze

We leave for Camp today and i don't know how i feel all i know is that it's all going to be different and i'm not sure about being a sponsor in charge if the kids don't listen to me -_-
but i'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst i mean you can do anything for four days no biggie.
No i honestly hope that it's just a positive experience.

I'm adulting really well today i've cleaned, packed and i think i'm ready but i also just remembered that i need to pack my phone charger.... haha yeah and i thought i was doing so well -_-
can't blame a girl for trying.
I still have a few little things like that to pack up.
but other than that i'm good and i think i'm ready.
I've basically stayed out of everyone's way today so far which was probably a good thing as we are all getting ready for the week.

Also... do you ever have a dream that your kissing someone you shouldn't be?
Haha... yeah i had a dream i was kissing someone and it was a really good kiss. But it was like i knew him well and he was a good friend but he was dating someone else someone close to me
And i was with him and we were at church for some reason guess my friends and i were hanging out and it was late at night and everyone had gone home and he was parked on one side of the building and i was parked on the other and so i was walking him out because i was the one that had to lock the door behind him.
and we were chatting and he said something about not wanting to go home yet and maybe we could talk longer.
and i said that i didn't want to hurt ( my friend) by spending to much time alone with him.
and he said that "it's okay because we're both adults, we are friends and it's not like we're going to do anything inappropriate"
and i say that honestly i wanted to do something inappropriate(like kiss him) And we are silent and he's just studying me.
and then he sighs and says i wish i'd had met you first, i should go and he turns to leave and takes a few steps toward the door and i say wait! and i catch up to him and i kiss him.
And he wraps his arms around me tight and it feels amazing and the kiss was amazing.
and the last thing i remember is us pulling back enough to look at each other and looking him in the eyes both of us knowing that kissing each other and hurting his GF and my friend was wrong but also feeling like we enjoyed the kiss and like we'd been dancing around each other for a while and wanting to see where it would go while also feeling insanely guilty.
and i woke up and did research on kissing someone elses BF and what that means and says about me(cause i'd never actually do that to a friend)
The sight i looked up said that it means that i want a relationship and that i'm open to experiencing love.
that made me feel better i was expecting something worse than that and i'm not sure i believe this dream interpretation... *Sigh*
what's also weird is i didn't personally know this guy like it didn't take the shape of one of my friends that i already know. like it wasn't a guy i know which makes sense because i'm not really attracted to any of my guy friends or any of my friend's boyfriends for that matter.
so it was someone else but the feeling were there, the betrayal and guilt were there.
weird i know. and very not like me
but in the dream i'd known him a while and i felt close to him and i liked him and he liked me.

It's a dream to file away because it's weird and it's not good in the sense that i betrayed a friend and kissed her boyfriend.
he kissed me back which in real life would be on him but me instigating it would have been my fault.

anyways better grab the last few things i need!