Snuffy

Danielito
2016-05-21 05:30:50 (UTC)

The Day Before London's Baptism

I'm just waiting for London to fall asleep so I guess I'll write a little.
Tomorrow is her baptism. I'm going to baptize her. That's going to be great. She's pretty excited. It makes me so happy to see her be excited about doing something so important. I know she doesn't quite understand the magnitude of this decision but it's cool to see her willing to do it simply because it's the right thing to do. Besides, there's always the sacrament. She doesn't have to be perfect from now on. There is time to develop an understanding of the covenants she'll be making.

As for me, I wish I was more pure. It'll be fine but I don't feel fully repentant and free of my addiction. I hope God can have mercy and grace upon me.

I don't know what else to write about. I still think about Colleen. Not as much. She texted me something about her work that related to something we had talked about before and it's nice to know she still thinks about me and that things remind her of me, of us.
I always respond with something short and sweet. Then she responds with something shorter, and that's it. In a couple of days she will text me again and it will go the same way. Sometimes we text for a little longer, but I think she's enjoying her space right now while I suffer through it. It's not that bad, though. I'm getting used to it and I think that's good. I need to stop feeling so lonely and sad. I shouldn't be drowning in self pity all the time. It's time to buck up and move on with things. I'm trying to tell myself that it's over between us. I'm preparing myself for the final conversation in which she or I decide it's not going to work. My heart still has hope for we will make something of this but I'm trying to accept the loss.




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