Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-04-30 08:52:41 (UTC)

If I'm Not High, I'm Hurting

The pain in my right hip and lower back have a reached a point I'm almost unable to bear. It's been like this for the better part of 3 days, but I'm finally getting frustrated with it. If I'm not high, I'm hurting. Since being high 24/7 isn't possible (since I'm also a functioning member of society, and can't sleep all day), I'm going to need to find another way to handle this. I totally meant to check Central Market for a natural anti-inflammatory, but I forgot. I don't know how, since pain is a constant companion. I need this to go away. I'm almost certain the PMS timeframe exacerbates the problem. It's always this bad the week before my period starts. I wonder if that's worth mentioning to Dr. Power?

I woke up feeling kind of blue. Or as dad put it, I had a bit of a grey day. No real reason in particular. I just didn't feel particularly happy or motivated to get up and do anything. But by 2pm, I was starting to have those sad feelings of "you've wasted your whole day off", and had to get myself up to do something. I chose to explore a park I'd been meaning to for awhile, but never got around to it. Grand Forest on Bainbridge. All I can say is, wow. It's an incredibly well maintained trail system meandering through what was formerly DNR land. Total, there are about 8 miles of trails with the option of a 5K multi-park trail (it crosses a couple roads to connect with other metro parks), and a cross island park from one side to the other (it cuts through several parks, and utilizes bike paths along a couple main roads). I definitely want to do the cross island trail. I think that would be fun. I know it would be a challenge, since I'd have to walk back as well.

I made a pot of chili for dinner tonight and barely ate a bite. I made cornbread, too. I made myself a nice slab of it with Earth Balance and grape jam... I didn't feel like eating that either. I'd left a smoothie in the fridge, so I had that instead. The feelings of gloom really started setting in around that time. On top of it, the fridge started making an incredibly annoying high pitched scream. So, I had to pull it out from the wall, unscrew the back panel, whip out the vacuum, and clean out the circulator fan. It was covered in cat hair. This was something I asked Snookums to do awhile ago, but he never got around to it. So, of course it feel on me. I wasn't pleased about that, but the fact that I was able to troubleshoot and problem solve the noise was a bit of a confidence booster.

My eyes are getting heavy. Tonight I'm thankful I don't have to get up early tomorrow morning, and I'm thankful for weed. Without it, I'd never know what it was like to be pain free. I hate that I'm going through this, but I'm at such a loss as to how to make things better. I'm just so broken...




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