Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-04-10 06:33:22 (UTC)

The Childhood He Missed

Now that I've waited until I'm sufficiently exhausted, I should probably write before I pass out! I got maybe 4 hours sleep last night (for no reasons other than I'm nocturnal to a fault). It's okay, though. It ended up being a great day, and until maybe 20 minutes ago the lack of sleep didn't really catch up to me at any point.

The past two days I've successfully gotten myself out of bed, dressed an to work on time. Not a small feat for me. After telling dad a couple night's ago that I couldn't be on time to save my life, turns out I can. I even had time to stop at Starbucks and get a smoothie and my usual coffee.

Speaking of smoothies, I've fallen off with that. I'm still adhering to raw till 4, but it's looking more like intermittent fasting until I finally feel like a starved hostage at 4pm. I'm basically not eating. Drinking water and coffee, because I'm either too distracted to make my smoothies, or dad's sleeping on the couch and I don't want to wake him. That's why I spent entirely too much on a lackluster smoothie at Starbucks this morning. I needed some sustenance, but I wasn't sure if dad was up or not, and I feel bad running my loud Nutribullet if he isn't awake. Really though, I gotta get over that. The reality is, he probably wouldn't care. And even if he did, it's easy enough for him to go back to sleep. He has all day to do whatever he wants.

I'm having a really great jump on the month so far. It was a busy day at work. I know I pulled some decent numbers, and every good day increases my comfort zone. I hate getting to the end of the month and not feeling like I'm going to hit my personal goals. When one day can make or break me, that's too close. Having dad here has had another surprising benefit. Work has been a breeze. I feel like I have something really awesome to look forward to at the end of the day, and that makes it so much easier to get through the day. Not that Snookums and the kids aren't something good to look forward to, but they're always here. They never go anywhere. Dad is still a novelty. I'm not feeling the least bit like this is ever going to get old!

I got of around 2pm and stopped at Costco to get a few things, when dad texted me. He was sitting outside my store waiting for me! So, I ended up heading back to the mall so we could sit and have a cup of coffee together at Barnes and Noble Café. What started out as a quick cup of coffee, turned into a 4 hour date! Not in a creepy way. We're just finally getting to know one another. We talked about everything. From the childhood he missed, to past relationships, the spiritual world, raising children, sex, psychology. Any and everything. It was beautiful. I'm not sure if we've ever had a conversation like that before. Talk about food for the soul. It's almost frightening how much we have in common. Right down to gestures and mannerisms.

With dad being my focus right now, I feel like I've put Snookums on the back burner a little. I don't mean to, but I feel I have. When I got home tonight, I made a point of showing him a little extra affection. I cooked him his own special dinner (tofu scramble with Greek flatbread), and we came to bed as soon as the kids were in bed so that we could have some "quality time" together. I know dad knows what we're doing. It's silly for me to think he doesn't know we have sex, but I'm still having a hard time adjusting to the idea that he may know what we're up to. Snookums has no problem with it. I don't even know why I feel weird about it. I'm an adult in my own home. We've done it twice since he's been here (which is an improvement on our customary once or twice a month), so maybe there's a little clandestine enjoyment of the thought of being "caught". Not that dad would catch us. In 5 days he hasn't set foot in our bedroom. No reason to, really.

I'm -- that close to deactivating my Facebook account. Nothing overtly upsetting has happened, I'm just so blissed out in my real life right now, I don't feel terribly interested in it at the moment. If anything, it's a source of constant irritation and angst. I seem to only scroll upon the bullshit people pass as fact. And if you try to share info, or even remotely disagree, it's yet another shitstorm argument. I'm over it. My only hang up is that there are several friends who I communicate with via Facebook and only Facebook. I almost feel like I need to start over or do a massive culling. But with over 2000 friends, that would be so tough... ugh.




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