Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-04-06 07:06:32 (UTC)

The First Awkward Moment

All is well... truly. I haven't felt this content or optimistic about the future in a long time. I hope this feeling lasts.

I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night. Nervous energy, mostly. All day I kept checking to see where he was, how far out he was. If he was making progress okay. It felt like the longest work day ever. I kept myself busy with customers, thank goodness. Had it been dead, I don't know if I would have made it without losing my mind a little!

By the time 5:30pm rolled around, dad was about an hour and a half out. Plenty of time for me to stop at Trader Joe's to get groceries for dinner. I went with spaghetti, because it's quick and who doesn't like spaghetti? Dad got here a little after 7pm right as I was finishing up cooking. It was like no time had pasted. Even though it's been almost two years. It feels so good having him here. We've been wanting him to come visit basically since the day he left from his last visit, so having him here for who knows how long feels almost surreal.

After dinner, and after the kids went to bed, we talked a bit about his prospects and what he's thinking about doing. He's applied to the shipyard, and he's looking to meet with a recruiter for an Alaskan fishing vessel. I don't know much about that, but I know its tough work. I don't think I love the idea of him doing that. I'd rather him just hang out with us. He's got his Navy retirement. We'll make due just fine! That's just me being selfish. I know he needs to get himself back on his feet. For himself. He's not going to want to live with us forever. Even if I'm totally okay with it.

The first awkward moment of living with my dad has already occurred. I don't know if it was awkward for him (or if he was even aware of what was going on at all). Snookums and I were in our room. I asked him to crack my back for me, and one thing led to another. Our bedroom is on the opposite side of the house from the living room and the kids' rooms. We really don't ever wonder if the kids can hear us having sex. I just assume our room is so far from theirs that they don't... well, I came out of our room after we were done, and my dad was sitting on the couch petting cats. I don't know why I felt so embarrassed, but I did. We weren't particularly loud, but I feel like it's entirely possible he heard something. Or he was dozing off, and heard nothing. I'm not going to ask.

I work a short shift tomorrow, then I'm off Thursday. A chance to spend some time with dad! I'm entirely preoccupied with him right now. I'm so glad he's here. I can't wait to get out and explore with him. I know eventually he's going to want to get serious about finding work, maybe his own place. I'm not ready for all that. I just want to enjoy having him back in my life again... long term. I wonder what my mother would say if she knew dad was here? Nothing nice, I'm sure. Which is a huge part of the reason she isn't in my life anymore.




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