Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-03-27 07:47:46 (UTC)

If I Should Die

I woke up on my own around 7:30 this morning. I didn't need to be awake that early, and I'd gone to bed a little on the last side last night, so I'm not even sure why I was awake... but I was. Perhaps it had something to do with the impending memorial for Gen's dad. I get nervous about those kinds of things. So, I stayed up and did some reading.

I'm still reading Ruby. I'm struggling with it, despite it being a very well written book. The content is so troubling, more so than any other African American literature has bothered me, but I'm going to get through it. Right now, she's retelling how she ended up a child prostitute at the age of 7. The things the men do to her are infuriating, and yet she talks of it like it's just a matter of fact. I'm hoping there's some semblance of a happy ending, after all the unending sadness chapter after chapter.

The memorial was short and sweet. I was actually really impressed with the turnout. Not that I expected it to be small, but I wasn't very sure. It was known that Lyle wasn't a very social man anymore, and hadn't been since Gen's mom died 13 years ago. It was touching seeing how many old friends and distant family members made it despite that. It makes me wonder who would bother coming to my service if I should die. I need to remind myself that I'm important, even on the days I don't feel like I am. Lots of people would come to my funeral. Not that it would matter. I'll be dead.

Perhaps it was the combination of emotional and physical fatigue, but work was so hard at times tonight. I had to dig deep to find the energy to keep moving. I was in a good mood, despite encountering several not so nice customers (like one who refused to tell me her name... she could have made one up for all I care, but why would you not tell someone your name?) and another who interrupted me while I was talking to someone else (because she wanted a measurement that very moment). I get weary dealing with the entitled bitches that frequent my store... but I made it through. One day at a time.

Annie and Colin have been working through their first real fight over the past few days. Snookums is a pigheaded fool when it comes to Annie's relationship, and likes to interject himself into it whenever possible. I guess he pressured Annie to break up with Colin, and called Colin to tell him himself that it was over and to come get his stuff. Annie didn't really want to break up with Colin, but didn't want Snookums to get mad at her if she didn't. So, tonight (after Snookums himself told me all that went down - because of his meddling) I felt compelled to message Colin and see how he's doing, and to let him know that I care about him, and I think he's a great kid. That's when I found out that Both Annie and Colin really want to stay together, but fear what Snookums will say. So, we (the three of us) talked it through and I think they're okay now. I'm glad. I don't know why I feel so invested in this. I try to stay out of it. I don't even know what caused the fight to begin with. I just know Annie is happy with Colin, and I like that. It's all I want for any of my children.




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