Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-03-13 08:22:33 (UTC)

Feeding My Own Depression

Just as I intended to, I reversed my trend of being fashionably late to work. Actually, it was nice not rushing through the process of picking an outfit, showering, doing hair and makeup. I put on my music and danced round the bathroom while getting ready. Maybe I dislike getting dressed so much, because I always rush myself. If I gave myself more time to get through the ritual peacefully, I might not dread it quite so much. I believe I've reached an epiphany. I'm feeding my own depression.

All day at work, I kept thinking about how much better things are. A combination of my own desire to manifest positivity, and just the overall vibe in the store. It's a much more laid back environment. I don't feel the heavy weight of all the negative personalities that were pressing down on me. It's something else I didn't realize until recently. I feel other people's feelings in a very tangible way. Their sadness/anger/happiness/what have you, impresses upon me. I can't help but feel it, too. I hate it, but there's nothing I can to do stop it. So, having a more pleasant work environment is going very well for me. I'm happy :)

At this point I can't tell if I've got a cold or allergies. As I was walking out of work, a general heaviness settled behind my eyes and in my throat. On the drive home, my nose started draining down the back of my throat, and my there's a bit of scratchiness when I swallow. I've also got the mildest headache. The same thing happened last year this time too. The trees and bushes are starting to wake up, flowers are blooming. The early signs of spring are upon us. And so is the pollen. Thick green layers on all of our vehicles. I know for a fact I have seasonal allergies. I was tested. I just don't really want to take meds for it. I don't like taking pharmaceuticals regardless of whether or not there's animal testing involved (which I assume there is).

I ran myself a hot Epsom salt bath, made myself a 32oz mason jar of green tea, and had raw veggies for dinner. I'm off tomorrow, so the alarm is off and I'm sleeping as long as my body says to. I refuse to get sick (if that's what it is). If it's allergies, I'll just muddle through it like I do every year. It only kills me for a week until I build up a tolerance, or whatever I'm allergic to calms down. That's the plan. I'm confident I'll fight through this. I NEVER get sick, and now isn't going to be any different!




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