My Letter To The World
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2016-03-09 00:25:35 (UTC)

We were to late.

mood: Sad, depressed
Song: Closer to love By Matt Kearney
Color: Silvery blue

She died today.
We were to late to see her before she did.
She died a 96 year old woman with many loved one's sibling children. friends.
She worked with kids in church and she was once my teacher.
She believed in me and she loved me and my whole family.

I cried...a lot today and i have a killer headache because of it now.
we went to the hospital Dad and i and we walked in and she had passed away 30 minutes before we go there...while we were still driving and i never got to tell her what she meant to me or that i'd see her again someday.
I didn't get to say the goodbyes i imagined but i guess i'll get different goodbyes later this week.
I didn't stay in the room long when we got there,her family were still sitting around the hospital bed.
Dad prayed for them but again as i always am when seeing a dead body i am struck with the knowledge that that is all that it is, the dead body.
the person, the soul, the part that matters is no longer there.
And well Winnie Frank's soul which is and was a beautiful one is now in Heaven with Christ where she is whole and complete and she no longer feels pain and sorrow.
She is with God and angels and all of the people that went on before her.
I'm happy that shes in heaven and is at peace...
I don't mourn for her as she's now better off than I am
But i do mourn for me, for my own loss and the loss that the world has now that she's no longer in it.

It's been so long. and it still hit so hard.

It's that drowning feeling.
when your under water and you know that your going to need to go up for air but you misjudged the distance so your losing air faster than you thought and your panicking and your swimming as fast as you can for the surface and you about an inch or two away and you feel like your lungs are going to bust...
It's that drowning feeling.

I will miss you, I will remember you.
You meant something to me and you made a difference in my life.
I just need you to know that.