Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-03-08 09:50:20 (UTC)

Any Number of Beautiful Things

I'm not sure why I've waited until 2am to start writing, but here I am. The house is quiet, I'm tucked into bed, I have a cup of tea (Zen Dog Gratitude blend, green tea and lavender, which is so beyond amazing. I love lavender tea). I'm feeling very calm/tranquil/at peace. A stark contrast from this morning. I woke with that doom and gloom feeling again. I wish I could pinpoint the cause of that feeling. It really fucks up my day sometimes. I didn't let it today, though. I acknowledged it, went through the mental checklist of what could possibly be triggering it. Nothing was of any pertinence. So, I dismissed the feeling. I wasn't letting it have power over me for no good reason. No reason at all. And that was the end of it. The rest of my day was brilliant.

There's been a strong urge to get out in nature the past few days. I indulged today. A friend also nominated me for a nature photography challenge on Facebook, and I wanted to get a good picture for that. Silly, I know. But I actually like this challenge, and sharing some of the beautiful things I see. One of the beautiful things about living in Washington is how gorgeous everywhere you look is. There's always a mountain, evergreen trees, water vistas, flowers, wildlife, you name it. Any number of beautiful things. So, after my morning smoothie, I set out to find some of those beautiful things.

I chose to revisit Anderson Landing Nature Preserve. Snookums and I took Keenan there a few summers ago (in 2013, doesn't feel like it's been that long), but some of the trails were closed (having work done. From what I could see today, new bridges crossing streams had recently been installed, and there were a few areas of obvious mudslide damage), not leaving much substantial hiking. It was just a short trail to the landing, were you could look out over Hood Canal. I think now it's probably a total of 3 miles of well-maintained trails. The S Health app on my phone says I burned 530 calories walking it. So, that's cool. I got my awesome nature photo of the day, and got to spend a little time doing what I love. Soaking in nature. Tomorrow I've already decided (if it isn't torrentially raining) I'm going to go explore Gazzam Lake on Bainbridge Island, and maybe Fort Ward if I get moving early enough. Two places I've never been. We go to Battle Point all the time, but if these two parks are any good, I'll take the kids there as well. The next time I have a day off when they aren't in school. There's no time after school just yet. It still gets dark too soon.

After returning from the woods, I headed into town to get groceries for dinner. Snookums requested pizza. As I was heading towards Trader Joe's, I passed a homeless man on the corner of Silverdale Way and Ridgetop. He looked so sad and cold. He was sitting in a wheelchair and it looked like his legs had been amputated at the knees. Normally I'm inherently skeptical of the panhandlers on the side of the road. It's becoming epidemic around here, and I hate the idea that someone is scamming people out of money because they don't want to get a real job. I didn't have any money on me anyway (I never do), but I figured I could at least get him something to eat. I felt pulled to do it. I believe he truly was in need. So, while picking up dinner provisions I also bought him a sandwich, some orange juice, tortilla chips, and Speculoos cookies. It was probably enough for a couple meals.

My anxiety tried to get the better of me. I felt very nervous approaching him. I haven't had a whole lot of interactions with the homeless. It's not something you used to see at all in Kitsap County. Over the past year it's become a real problem. They're on every other street corner, and I can't pretend I don't see them. Anyway, we talked for a little bit. His name was Billy Ray. Or so he told me. He was very nice, and seemed genuinely grateful for the meal. As I was getting ready to walk back to my car, he told me I was pretty and that he liked my hair. I was gracious and thanked him for the compliment. But as I was thinking about it, I felt a little irritated too. I'm not a ravishing beauty. I don't understand why my appearance comes up so much. I don't even think I'm particularly exotic looking. I'm your average mixed chick. There's lots of me in the world! I would love to be thought of as more than just a pretty woman. I'm smart, compassionate, funny, strong-willed, determined, driven. Lot's of great things. Not just pretty. Either way, it was a positive experience for me, and I walked away from it feeling good about what I did. It was $10 well spent.

I'm currently seeing an inundation of new friends on Facebook. Over 115 or 120 today. At last count I'm at 1,125 friends with 7 pending requests (at last glance. It could be more now. I was averaging a request a minute for a solid 30 minutes. Craziness). Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have this many friends. I'm not deluded enough to think they're real friends. But still, I never thought that many random strangers would ever give two shits about my life. I'm not all that interesting.

Okay, time to medicate and drift off to sleep. I have adventuring to do tomorrow!




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