My Letter To The World
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2016-03-08 08:06:00 (UTC)

Birthday's and Video calls

Mood: Tired/Determined
Song: The Last Time by Taylor swift and Gary Lightbody
Color: Red/orange

Today was Tara's 28th Birthday i made her cake.
It turned out good it was a two layer tie dyed pink and purple cake with flowers fondant on top.
I mad the marsh mellow fondant again and it turned out good.
But i'm so tired of Cream cheese frosting...haha.

That's the last birthday for a couple of months though so that's good, no major baking projects in the future.
Today wore me out.
running errands and then spending the afternoon making the cake plus the extra cupcakes and cleaning up the house.
But tonight was fun, Aunt Gayla and Wayne came, and Brandon,Rachel and the kids and of course us and grandma.
it was just a good family time lots of laughs and lots of chaos.

Ugh i keep thinking about it at like 2 in the morning every night how i was going to walk at the track every evening -_- that hasn't been happening, but i've been sick and so busy...by the time i'm home and free to do what i want i've been exhausted.
I'm Exhausted now but here i am awake writing because i'm determined to keep up with everything.

anyway's i'm starting to get a head ache from staring at this screen...(after entry's and messages and FB, and catching up on emails, and the head ache is just sign of how tired i am,
That and when you have to close your eyes and think about how to spell basic words like "ache"

yeah...but then 30 minutes ago Robert Video called me.
I think he just wanted to see my reaction to him seeing Emma and my reaction to his little family picture that he sent me.
Well i didn't give him any reaction.
I will say that i am trying to get along with him.
But i will protect Emma first, she's mine not his, and he's not going to ever change that.
if he thinks other wise...he's out of his mind.
Plus then he goes on about how jakie and the kids are his family and then asks me to print off a their family picture and give it to Emma
and my thoughts were "Hell no i'm not giving her that picture it's just proof that you moved on and got a new family that doesn't involve her and no i'm not giving her that are you Crazy?
hows that supposed to make her feel?
Roberts her biological father there's nothing i can do about that,
he's my brother there's nothing i can do about that either.
I don't know what the right protocall for these circumstances is...
but i know that it's hard and awkward and heartbreaking and no matter what Emma comes first and i will protect her.
Her physically, mentally and emotionally.
she's seven she deserves to have stability and to be a happy little kid.
The struggle is real.